Monday, August 6, 2012

In Which I Give You a Sample

When I first said I was going to slow down my writing on my blog back a few months ago, one of the reasons I gave was so I could focus more on my efforts towards my short stories and novel ideas. I haven't made as much headway as I would have liked, but any progress is better than none at all. 

In the world of fiction these days, end-of-the-world apocalypse stories are everywhere. As a (sort-of) writer, I understand the appeal of the setting. You can pick how the world as you see it ends, and focus on your own rag-tag group of people as they struggle to survive in a world without rules. There are so many possibilities, and I held off on trying to write my own until I was sure I could put something together that is unique enough to stand out from the rest.

Like so many authors, I got my inspiration (at long last) from music. Specifically, A Perfect Circle. See if you can guess which one.

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The ironic thing about how Old America came to collapse is that everyone had seen it all happen before. Through the myriad of books and movies about the seemingly inevitable apocalypse that permeated popular culture, these things that were read or watched as entertainment before everything went to Hell, the majority of Old America failed to see it coming. Looking back on it now, the warning signs were painfully obvious, yet the foundation of government and justice that our country was built upon and that had survived for almost three hundred years crumbled from the inside out.

It doesn't matter now how it began. There could be fingers pointed in a multitude of directions, blame placed upon a veritable laundry list of people in varying ranks of government who failed to act or understand the brevity of the situation that quickly spiraled out of control. What matters is that the government lost control of its people. The history books (if there ever will be such a thing again) would tell you that there was an uprising, a collective surge of energy from underground anti-government movements, and these people suddenly found themselves with the upper hand. Everything fell down around them like a house of cards shortly after, and now there is no government, no law and no order. Most importantly, there is no constant control to protect the innocent and put away the guilty. There is only people struggling to survive in a desolate world of hate and destruction.

If anyone had paid attention, all those books and movies would have prepared them for the inevitable division of our species into the fundamental groups that would make up our new society. Preparedness aside, the irony of it all extends into the new set of demographics to the point of being absurdly cliche. There are no whites or blacks or Hispanics. There are no upper, middle, or lower classes. There are no suburbanites or city dwellers. There is only the good people and the bad people.

Whatever good people remain in our continent call themselves the New Americans. They are people who have found others they trust enough to help protect their group, and they know first hand the truth in the old adage that there is strength in numbers. They find whatever food and water and medical supplies they can, and try to stay hidden from those who have chosen to take the path of violence.

As another painful cliche, the bad call themselves Renegades. They pillage and kill, stealing food and shelter without morals or remorse or consequence. There are rumors of cannibalism and human sacrifice, echoing the traits of their primitive ancestors that have surfaced in our ravaged, lawless world. Like so many before them they use violence as a method of control, forcing submission and allegiance under the threat of horrible torture, mutilation, or death.

I know these things because of what my father has told me. I was young when this all began and don’t remember much of it. If my nightmares are an indication of why that is, my subconscious must have blocked out that which was the worst of what I saw. My clearest memories of that time are of great fires and rioting crowds. I have a precious few of time spent with my family before all of this happened, before my mother and sister were lost.

My family is now only my father and I. My mother and my sister are gone. My father hasn’t told me what happened to them. A quiet rage comes upon him every time I ask, and without answering he leaves the room to go sit alone. One day when I asked he said that he'd tell me the full story when I got older. That was two years ago at least. I am almost nineteen years old now, and with the rest of my lineage gone to ashes with the rest of the world, I am left to honor my father's discretion and let him decide the timing.

We belong to a small group of New Americans. Other than my father and I, there are six others with us in an abandoned house on the outskirts of what used to be Portland, Maine. It sits upon a hill that provides a view of the surrounding neighborhood, and gives us the advantage of seeing those approaching from the horizon. There was a time where constant watch was held to ensure that we would be ready if the Renegades came, their war drums heralding their approach, but the world around us has been largely silent.

Last night, for the first time in thirteen months, we heard the drums.

The Renegades are coming.

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(Click here for a link to the song.)

Anyone interested for more?

Happy Monday, folks.







Wednesday, June 13, 2012

In Which I Enjoy the Debate

I wrote a post a few years ago about a new recipe my mother had come up with called Muffnuts, a muffin that was supposed to have the taste and consistency of a donut. They thought that the name they came up with was clever, and fortunately I didn't have to explain to them why it wasn't. At any rate, the post became one of my more popular, winding up on my sidebar as a "reader favorite". 

Because of the prominent listing on the front page of my site, the post has been plagued by spam comments. I started off deleting them, but as my spare time became increasingly sparse, I've just let them be. A new crop of spam comments sprout up from time to time, most of them about personal trainers or online coupons or tree care. I suppose I could have turned CAPTCHA back on, but my hatred for CAPTCHA outweighs my hatred  for blog comment spam.

Now, every comment on my blog makes its way to my inbox as a way of helping me keep up with the goings-on around here. Thus, I get to enjoy all the spam on top of my email spam. I delete most of them, but I got one recently that takes the cake. 

First, in early April, I received this as a spam comment.




Par for the course in the world of spam, if you ask me. That is, until I got this one in the end of May.




Well, now. Looks like we've got a little debate on our hands over the contextual accuracy of spam comments. Talk about a can of worms.

I think I'll turn CAPTCHA back on before this gets out of hand.

Friday, April 20, 2012

In Which It's Been a Month

When I wrote about slowing things down here on the ol' blog, I didn't intend on going a month without writing something. A week or so, sure, but a month? Well, that month went by in a blink of an eye, and here we are. I haven't written for any lack of things to talk about. The day to day routine of life with a (one-year-old!) baby makes time blaze right by. That's my biggest and best excuse I can come up with, and I think it works pretty well.

The Boss and I have been introducing a little TV into Baby Badass' daily routine. There are a few shows that she really gets a kick out of, and somehow knows that she's missing them if she's not watching them when they are on. Our DVR is now full of children's programming, whereas before it held all of our gritty crime dramas and The Walking Dead episodes. We have watched a fair amount of TV created for budding young minds recently, and I've learned a thing or two.

Before you get to thinking that I learned something fundamental from Caillou, here's what I've learned:

Children's TV is really, really annoying.

Given all of the allowances to the fact that the shows are designed for a demographic much younger than I am, I can honestly say that the four-year-old me would feel the same way. The animation is poor, the voice acting is way overdone (and many of the characters sound like they have severe nasal congestion), and the morals or lessons you're supposed to pick up from these shows are heavily veiled, if there are any lessons to be learned at all. 

I'm not saying the Wachowski brothers should produce a kid's show. I'm just of the mindset that if these shows are for our kids, why not make sure that every minute of programming has something that they can learn from? The Boss and I don't use TV as a learning tool now, nor do we ever intend to. It'd be nice, though, to have a few shows out there that offer something of value to the young mind. But that's just me.

Have a good weekend, everyone.