At least once a week for the past couple of months, I have had a recurring dream. In this dream, I start smoking cigars. I find this very strange, as I've never smoked anything in my life before, nor have any desire to begin smoking.
The dream always starts out the same. I'm in a convenience store, walking towards the register with my items. While waiting in line, I notice the racks of cigars and cigarettes behind the counter. As I give my items to the cashier to ring in, I ask for a package of cigars. I pay for everything, walk outside and fire up the cigar with a Zippo.
I looked up what this dream could possibly mean, and I got two different answers. Apparently, a dream in which one is smoking suggests that the smoker is trying to hide his or her feelings. Conversely, a cigar signifies control, power, luxury, and masculinity. I suppose those two things would go together, but not easily. And even then, I'm not sure how this dream applies to me. I learned long ago that nothing good comes out of hiding my feelings. I sure as hell don't have any power or control over much in this world. I can easily vouch for my masculinity, but luxury? Luxury to me is two-ply toilet paper.
Part of me has always wondered where the appeal to smoking cigars lies. Another part of me has wanted to see what smoking is like, just for the sake of life experience. Eventually the practical part of me shows up and kicks the other two parts of me in the mouth for even considering it. I have had numerous family members die of things related to or caused by smoking, and I would be foolish to even consider it.
I wish I would stop having the dream. Quite simply, its boring me.
Besides... There are plenty of other things to dream about.