In Which I Realize I Truly Am Out Of Shape

Despite what the title of this post implies, I have never truly been "in shape". I've always been in varying stages of "out of shape", also known as "husky", "big boned", or the non-politically correct "fat". Even though rigorous outdoor activities generally make me breathe through my mouth, I still like getting outside and enjoying nature. Much like I did yesterday.

I spent most of the day yesterday exploring various sights at a state park. It was very beautiful, with waterfalls and massive gorges everywhere you looked. Getting to some of the scenic spots involved climbing up on some rocks and clutching to the railing for dear life. I am deathly afraid of heights, but its not often that one can look down into a gorge that was carved over thousands of years by glacial melt water. I snapped a few quick pictures, and backed away unsteadily. I found it interesting at how quickly a 400-foot drop and a roaring waterfall can cause vertigo.

We stopped and marveled at some other sights along the trail that wound upstream before the waterfall, and drove a few miles up on the road to some other sights in the area. On the drive home, I became aware of the pain in my ankles and the fatigue in my legs. Other than swollen ankles and a minor sunburn, I survived the day with no major injuries. I did sustain a scratch on my forearm by an errant tree branch. It apparently had a personal vendetta against me, but I fought back and broke that fucker right off.

I chuckle to myself now when I imagine what I must have looked like to others at the park: An overweight guy in shorts, camera bag hanging around his shoulder, breathing hard and sweating, awkwardly climbing about on the rocks like a toddler just learning how to walk, smiling and pointing at the waterfall like a fucking tourist. Luckily, I lost my sense of pride when I vomited during class in the sixth grade.

Once you've thrown up recognizable pieces of fruit snacks and a bologna sandwich in front of your peers, there is no going back.