Monday, July 14, 2008

In Which I Am Patient

In an apparent attempt at cruel humor, Fate, it seems, is testing my ability for patience. Unfortunately for Her (I'm assuming that Fate is a female. I could be wrong, but I'm too embarrassed to check), I am a very patient man. I might even be so bold to say that my ability to withstand extreme annoyance borders on super-human strength. Alas, I am only a regular-human, and I do have a breaking point. Which, if Fate continues Her quest, could happen at any moment now.

I probably wouldn't have noticed that Fate was targeting me, if it hadn't been for a series of specific events. I don't think that it's a coincidence that, at work, I just happen to get back-to-back calls from mothers holding their screaming babies, who get upset at me when they can't hear me. I'm positive that Fate caused every person in the state of Maine to forget to call in their prescription refills during the week, and made them all call in at the same exact time, when the office isn't open, to complain about it. I think it was on purpose that when waiting in line at the grocery store on my lunch break, the person behind me in line would have a little ankle-biter of a kid who would keep jamming the cart into my heels. I know it was Fate's fault that I would forget my wallet at home, thus effectively wasting my entire lunch break.

Despite these (and other) unprovoked attacks on my patience, I am standing strong. While the events of this past weekend have caused me to dip into my Emergency Backup Reserve of patience, I'm holding my ground. If Fate wants to play dirty, I urge Her to bring it on. I am a patience camel, people. I mean, I grew up with two sisters, and I'm married to quite possibly the most indecisive person on earth. I hardly think that what I've been through recently is the best of what She can throw at me.

I know that one isn't supposed to tempt You, but seriously?

I think You can do better.


Sus said...

Maybe you should hire a screaming kid to hold while talking to these women on the phone. It might cause some sort of phase cancellation that would allow you to hear one another.

Or you could just take advantage of the fact that they can't hear you very well, and keep referring to them as " Miss..."

Badass Geek said...

Sus: I wish I could, although sometimes I talk quietly on purpose just to piss people off. The urge to swear at people gets to be all too strong at some points. I totally would if my calls weren't audited weekly.

moonspun said...

What if you accidentally burped on the phone? Would they notice?
I got a bit confused reading this post as I just read all your March and April posts this morning (ok, it was a bit slow and I wanted to get some background on you...) and there was a post about your patience and a phone conversation you detailed.
I don't know the sex of Fate, but chances are he/she is just prepping your patience for something REALLY good!

Aunt Becky said...

Dude, I don't know how I didn't find you before, but I'm glad I found you now.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Hey there, just found you. I read back a few posts and enjoyed them. I'll be peeking in on you again.


Forever In School said...

Fate is a she??!!
Be careful not to upset her then. You know how we are. Our feelings get hurt quite easily. And it comes back to you.
You are married. You should know better!

Badass Geek said...

Aunt Becky: Aw, shucks... You're going to make me blush!

Employee No. 3699: I hope you do come back =).

FIS: The key word is "should". I should know better... Yet I don't.

Heather said...

No no no, you're wife can't be the most indecisive person on the planet. I am. Or maybe I'm not. Maybe it IS her. If it is, my husband can shut the hell up from now on. But according to him, it's me.

Lola said...

"In which I am not patient" would be the title of my post, because, well, I'm not patient at all. Fate is so a female. There is no question in my mind. Only a woman could cause us so much trouble.

Keep on keepin' on, Big Guy!

Backpacking Dad said...

So, it was a bad day?

Backpacking Dad said...

and aunt becky rocks. you should worship the ground she walks on.

Badass Geek said...

Heather: It is entirely possible that its a tie between you and her.

Lola: Women are trouble makers. Alas, I love them so.

Backpacking Dad: It was a tough weekend, yes. And I'll have to divide up my ground worshiping time between you and Aunt Becky.

Heather said...

You know Weird Al's song, Trapped in the Drive thru? That's the saga of my life. My husband swears he wrote that song because he'd been spying on us.

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