Sunday, July 20, 2008

In Which I Am Poetic

I wasn't feeling very creative today,
A point I am embarrassed to boast.
My metaphorical well of ideas and thoughts
Has dried up; I've got nothing to post.

I thought of writing about another "First Time",
But I wasn't sure what about.
After all, the story of how my virginity was lost
Should probably be left out.

"I could complain about work," I said,
But I didn't want to appear to you as whiny.
I then thought of describing my blog troll,
Mr Pineapples, whose dick I'm sure is tiny.

"No to all that!" I cried. "I must think!"
And wracked my brain in thought.
It was then it occurred to me that there was something
I've meant to say, but forgot.

You see, it appears that I have this talent
Of turning a phrase in time,
And selecting the proper corresponding words
That make it flow smoothly, and rhyme.

I can spin a quick line or write a stanza,
And give it an emotion, (happy, or sad).
I've used this in the past to poke fun at my sisters,
To get them good and mad.

There is not much going on today.
My e-mail inbox is desolate and void.
The weather outside? It's warm and sunny,
Just begging to be enjoyed.

Alas, I'm stuck at my desk 'til late,
Answering calls and being nice.
I ask "Can I help you?" but think to myself
The solution is a quick motion, and a knife.

No, I'm not planning a homicide;
I wouldn't fare too well in jail.
Besides, I've got little money, and no rich uncle
That could help me to post bail.

I've never posted an entry before
Written entirely in verse.
Considering what else I could have written,
This can't be that much more worse.

So, how about it folks?
What do you think of this new style?
It is quite fun to write like this,
But I'll admit it takes a while.

I've begun to ramble, so I'll wrap things up.
Leave a rhyming comment if you care.
I might turn this into a meme,
So commenter's, beware!


Just kidding. I wouldn't subject anyone to mandatory poetry writing.

Unless they deserved it.


Lola said...

To comment in verse on such a hot day causes me stress, but I won't turn away. I'll give it a try for the big Badass guy who must sit alone and talk on the phone.

I'm stuck in my house to avoid the heat, so why not wrack my brain while I wait for the rain. I'm so sick of summer, can't wait for fall when the big yellow bus comes and gets them all.

This heat and humidity is such an energy suck that it makes me give up and say WHAT THE FUCK. My house is clean, but I need to get out. My plants need help and are starting to pout.

I can't wait for that autumn air that won't frizz my hair. My mood will get better as I reach for a sweater. I'll stay outside where I belong, life will be good, and we'll all get along.

How's that? Jesus, it's hard to put an end to those rhymes. I need a nap now.

Badass Geek said...

Lola: For such a tough chore, you pulled through it with ease. The weather is warm here, too, with nary a breeze. May I suggest a glass filled with ice? With some Coke and some rum, it should taste very nice.

Heather said...

One fish two fish red fish blue fish.
ta da.
That was really funny, Badass.

Badass Geek said...

Heather: I'd tell Dr Seuss that you ripped off his rhyme, but hasn't he been dead for quite some time?

Lola said...

If I drink rum and Coke, I surely will barf. I'll stick with red wine and put on my scarf. My A/C is set low so my energy will flow.
As long as I stay in, I'll be wearing a grin.

Oh, and I missed what this troll said about you. He better not have hurt your feelings. I assume that's why you are moderating.

Heather said...

oh yeah, that's about this? I do not like green eggs and ham, sam i am.

enthalpymama said...

The first time I have read your post, I wonder if its funnier than most. I happen to rhyme, regardless of time, although barely the blog that I host.

I am new to this blogging game, have barely thought of a name. I'm trying one new, but its making me blue, maybe too geeky and a little bit lame.

So I happened to see this geek, who has posted for more than a week. I wonder today, if such luck comes my way, or if I am simply just really a freak.

My hubby is sitting right here. "Badass geek" is that YOU dear? Ha, if I was doing my part, I'd be half that smart, but someone else has got it, I fear.

So I will give a poem a shot,
is this the best that I've got? I am more than a geek, maybe less than a freak, but a writer I am definitely not.

You are welcome to check out my blog, I have several, I'm sort of a hog. But since its my kids, I've left one hid, the other should result in a flog.

I guess I must thank you in rhyme, for entertaining just this first time, you've got quite a knack, I'll have to come back, and perhaps again I'll stop on a dime.

Aunt Becky said...

Blog trolls are the best!

Lil Sass said...

I can't play with you big dogs, but BAG I am very impressed!

Badass Geek said...

Lola: I deleted most of my trolls comments. They were petty and insulting, and I didn't want it taking up valuable space.

Heather: For stealing, Suess might be mad. But me? Your rhymes ain't all that bad.

Enthalpymama: I'm sorry I took a blogger name that might have suited you better. Alas, "Badass Geek" fits me like a well-tailored sweater. Thank you for taking the time to stop by. Please come back again, I'm a pretty nice guy.

Aunt Becky: For my first blog troll, it wasn't all that bad of an experience. I hate to have to moderate comments because of him, but hopefully he gets the point now.

Lil Sass: *takes a bow* I'll be signing autographs after the show.

Heather said...

I just found out that Weird Al will be in Cincinnati tonight at 7:30! Isn't that ironic? Oh well....

moonspun said...

Oh my! There's no way that I
could ever be a poet
and I know it!

I liked reading it, but writing it is something that doesn't suit me! Nice talent to have, though my beloved Badass!

enthalpymama said...

Oh, I don't think it would have suited me better at all. My husband really did ask if it was me, and I thought that was pretty funny (Wow, me, a badass? Not so much.) It was meant as a compliment, and I'm sure I'll be back.

Badass Geek said...

Heather: That is ironic. You should go!

Moonspun: You made a small rhyme, so thats good! Growing up I would have family members approach me to write poems for birthdays or anniversaries... I was quite popular amongst my grandparents.

Enthalpymama: If you stick around long enough, you'll find that I'm not so much a badass, either. =)

Employee No. 3699 said...

Hey there, it's Monday morning and I'm reading your post instead of doing payroll for last week.

And again, It Is Monday Morning...there is no way I could leave you a comment that rhymes...It's Monday...Morning. I have to get back in the swing of things after the weekend.

Badass Geek said...

Employee No. 3699: I feel honored that my blog came first, before your work. And it is Monday morning... My brain isn't functioning higly right now, either.

Daddy Files said...

I for one would like to hear
the story of your first time
Was it pretty standard, virgin stuff
Or was it cool, like sex with a mime?

Did you know what you were doing
Or were you scared and all a blubber?
Did you choose to go in bareback
Or did you fumble with the rubber?

Did you bring her to new heights
Of unfettered orgasmic bliss
Or was it like so many firsts
A big time swing and a miss?

So c'mon Bad Ass, share your tale
After all, I think mine was worse
My first time the girl was so cold
But then again, she was in a hearse!

Sorry, that's all I've got! Mondays screw with my brain.

Badass Geek said...

Daddy Files: You asked for it. Be looking for an entire post about it (in verse!) later today.

mumma boo said...

You are damn funny,
and to borrow a phrase,
so on the money!
Your way with a verse,
is for better not worse.
Impressed so with your wit,
I must de-lurk to admit.

(Ok, very lame, but who could follow Daddy Files masterpiece? Heh.)

Stanley Ejiogu said...

Wow! What a name
I guess it's Badass Geek
Right from the day you came
I know you write like a Greek

If Shakespare should see this, he would bow!
He would shout, that's a don!
If your mama should see this, she would say wow!
That's my son

But to a fellow poet I hail with a Champagne glass
I guess you are wondering who's this MAN
I ain't no bad ass
Cuz the name is STAN

( hi badass, I also can weave lines and rhymes. Ha! Ha! Ha!)

Aly said...

i love to write.
it brightens my day.
i love to read.
it takes me away.
i love to draw.
it lets me play.
i love to love
with every breath of every day.

poetic inspiration has struck!
like lightening hits a tree.
like a deer by a truck.
my fingers are moving
as fast as can be!
poetic inspiration has struck me!

although these lyrics above
were on my mind long before today
i feel they fit well
like a barn with hay
i keep my pen close by
and paper near
for a poem can hit at any moment
and in my heart, held dear
i enjoyed your rhyme
i enjoyed your rhythm
if you wish to read more of mine, though
to my website, you should be headin'

dhea ezekielle said...

nice poem:)

ArtsySisters said...

Nice poem...made me smile!

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