Mr Daddy Files, in response to my entry yesterday, asked to hear the story of how I lost my virginity. Since I lost all sense of pride and humility a long time ago , I will oblige his request.
Even though it makes me feel a little creepy.
Virginity, Where Art Thou?
A Story of Grand Accomplishments
My first time with sex was in college,
At the start of freshman year.
My girlfriend got "that look" in her eye,
And my eye's began to tear.
My nerves made my stomach churn.
Was I horny? Far, far from it.
I rushed down the hall to the bathroom,
As I was sure I was going to vomit.
"It's not that you're ugly!" I cried.
"I've just never done this before!"
Her smile disappeared as she left the room,
Making sure to slam the door.
"I guess, not tonight" I said to my crotch.
"There will be another time soon."
No sooner were those words out of my mouth
When my girlfriend re-entered the room.
She held in her hands a small plastic wrapper
With "Durex" on the label.
When I noticed that her other hand held some KY,
My knees suddenly felt less stable.
I'll let you imagine what events happened next,
I haven't the stomach, nor the words, to describe.
Suffice it to say it didn't last long
Which I expected, at least for my first time.
When I rolled on my back in a post-coital haze,
Exhausted and physically spent,
My girlfriend asked for an encore performance...
Let me tell you how that went.
Once everything was "up and running" again
(A better term? There is a lack),
For the second time in the same evening
I was part of a beast with two backs.
I thought everything was going well,
And I mistakenly quickened the pace.
Alas, it was over in thirty seconds flat,
And a frown crept over her face.
She withdrew from me, and I from her,
Disappointed, but what could I do?
She turned on her side, and that was it.
The night was clearly through.
And that, my friends, is the story
Of how my virginity was lost.
"Am I better at sex now", you ask?
You'll have to ask The Boss.