Monday, August 4, 2008

In Which I Take Another Day Off

I've been struggling with some pretty intense anxiety problems lately. I've tried to disguise it, both in person and by how I present myself on my blog, but it is getting increasingly harder to do. In truth, I've been a mess for the past couple of days. There is too much to mention quickly here now, and everything is still pretty raw. I'm trying to keep myself focused on things that don't bother or stress me out, so it might take me a few days to get back to normal.

I decided to go into work with The Boss today so I wouldn't be home by myself. I brought my laptop with me so I could get caught up on my feeds (26!) and e-mails (35!), and the only place that I could find that has wi-fi is McDonalds. I know that McDonalds is more "family friendly" than most other sit-down type restaurants, so I expected there to be some kids. I didn't expect to be surrounded by hugely undisciplined children, throwing their food and their Happy Meal toys around, jumping on their seats and yelling despite their parents best attempts at calming them down. I don't know what is in the water in this town, but I haven't seen such chaos since the last time The Boss and I went to a zoo. I seriously had to clean up soda and milk off of the back of my laptop screen twice so far. Little brats.

I don't like not writing "real" entries in here. I promise that I'll writing something "real" in the next few days. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon.

I just need some time.


Lil Sass said...

Darling BAG, in the past several months it feels as though we have created a nice interweb family here. I visit all my peeps and see the same commenters and somehow feel like we've created a loving, warm 'clique' of sorts ... which is WAY better than high school cliques. We won't kick you out or beat you up or talk shit behind your back. With that being said, I want to thank you for "checking in" with us but know if you need some time .... sometimes silence says a lot. I think we know what's going on (did I just start speaking for 'the team'? wtf?) and all I can say is that I hear you. I hear you ... and get it ... and understand ... and although we love to hear from you, don't ever feel obligated to check in, if that checking in becomes burdensome.

I wish I knew what to say. In your previous posts about your medical condition, I have refrained from commenting because I feel completely and totally at a loss for words (so unlike me). So today I have no answers. All I can send is a cyber squeeze and now that I am truly thinking about you everyday.

Please send The Boss our love as well. xoxox

Employee No. 3699 said...

lil sass did just 'speak for our team'. (Thanks lil sass)

You don't have to post every day, or even week. As much as I love to read what you have to say, I can be patient.

You need to take care of yourself now. We'll be here for you.

Miss Grace said...

McDonald's isn't where normal people normally take their kids, so the kids there are either (a) poorly tended on a regular basis, (b) on vacation and this is the only place their parents can find to feed them, or (c) on a field trip/with grandma/etc and this is the only place they can think to bring them. In all three cases, the answer is extra-obnoxious kids.

When we were kids my mom told us that we couldn't eat at McDonald's because the food there wasn't real food, it was cardboard food. We believed her. I believed her until I was like 12 or something.

And, post lightly as you see fit. Lil Sass did indeed speak for "the team." Hug.

scatterbrain said...

What they said. With bells on.

Hey, you must know we all think you’re just the greatest? Take as long as you need and we’ll still be here to chat whenever you feel like saying hello. Whatever is right for you.

Oh, and it’s not just your town – McDonalds have been like that for years, it’s where I taught my son how NOT to behave.

Whoops! Almost crushed you with that hug.

Moonspun said...

Badass...Lil sass said it perfectly, we want to hear from you, but only when it's good for you. We want to be here from you as often as you'd like/can. But if you can't? That's ok, too.
Here's a virtual hug and smooch for you and the Boss. Hopefully you'll figure it all out soon.
This is what I don't get about McDonald's and behavior. We go there as a treat and rarely stay, but there must be something in the air. Yet as a parent if MY daugther spilled milk on your laptop, she'd be wiping it off, apologizing and in the car faster than you could say "Thanks moonspun." There's no excuse for allowing kids to behave so badly!

enthalpymama said...

I can't be so bold as to say that I've made it to being part of the 'team' but as an innocent bystander-of-sorts let me send you my own personal squeeze as well.

As for the brats in McD, just find comfort in the fact that those adults actually have to take those children home (and live with them). Ha!

Aunt Becky said...

Turn off, tune in, drop out. Go ahead, I dare ya.

Forever In School said...

Hey, don't worry about us. Take your time. These posts are as real as any other posts you have written. Because they are real stuff. About you, about your problems, about your life.
And we are here when you come back.

Lola said...

I feel exactly the same as Lil Sass about our little corner of the interweb, and you know you're my favorite blogger. You always check in on me, and you help me with all of my little blog bugs just because you're a great guy.

I will miss you if you take a break, but I totally understand. Life sure can get heavy sometimes, and this blog business takes energy.

Oh, yeah, and NEVER, EVER go into a McDonald's unless it's 1 A.M. That's enough to make even the most calm person anxious.

Be well, man. I'm sending you calming, zen-like thoughts... Om...Oom...Ooom...Oooom.

just a girl... said...

I have only read one post so far but I look forward to reading more. Mc Donalds=Heathens.

Jess said...

Take as many days as you want-need. Sometimes I think they are as important as breathing.

So just breathe.

(Channeling a one hit wonder here...)

Heather said...

A real entry is anything you want it to be. We want to hear about the rough times too, we're here to support you, we care about you, and I know you'd support any one of us if we were having a hard time. It's hard to confide in people you've never met, even though we are all up each other's asses like lil sass said. But we are understanding, compassionate people. Say what you want, feel what you want, do what you want, and let us in on it IF you want.

A.C. said...

I think this was a marvelous "real entry."

And of course, I can be totally patient. Blog for you...take care of you. I'll be here when you get back.

Badass Geek said...

To All That Have Commented Thus Far:

I know that I normally respond to individual comments, but I didn't feel as if it was the best choice in this case. While I appreciate each of you individually, I want to thank you all as a group for your support and kind words. These past few days have been some of the hardest in my life, but it is nice to "plug back in" after a few days gone and see the support from you all.

I appreciate and highly value each and every one of you. I might even say that I love you guys, but don't take it the wrong way. It's platonic love.

Post a Comment