My employer would not let me off work, so I am chained to my desk until later this afternoon. I wasn't going to blog today, it being a national holiday and all, but I figured since I am both here and bored out of my skull, why the hell not? It's my birthday and I can blog if I want to. Blog if I want to. Blog if I want to. You would blog too if it happened to you (for those who don't get the reference, click here).
Sorry. I couldn't resist. I've had too much caffeine today, and I think it is reacting adversely to the muscle relaxers and pain killers I just took for the muscle spasm in my neck.
Anyone who has been following this blog for any reasonable amount of time should know that I am a fan of making lists. There are plenty of posts in the archives that have lists about one thing or another, but the most popular one (I think) is my "50th post" list. In honor of this tradition, and because its my birthday, I'm going to make yet another list.
THINGS I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED:
A Chronicle of Life Events
- Successfully escaping my mothers womb by way of cesarean section.
- Eating food without smearing it all over my face and clothing.
- Having my bow-leggedness fixed by orthopedic braces.
- Proving my unwillingness to buck tradition by sucking my thumb.
- Finally becoming toilet trained.
- Starting 1st grade early, thus always being the youngest in class.
- Discovering vandalism with permanent markers is fun.
- Finds out that yelling "FUCK YOU" at sisters is a bad thing.
- Finds out that flipping the bus driver the middle finger is also a bad thing.
- Proves that my future will not be decided by my athletic ability.
- Notices that girls are attractive creatures.
- Develops first crush on 7th grade Language Arts teacher.
- Transposes first piece of sheet music, solidifying my band-geek status.
- Realizes that high school is a scary place for freshmen.
- Surprises entire world by getting a girlfriend.
- Finally allowed to date without supervision, but lacks a girlfriend.
- Realizes that high school is a scary place, even as a senior.
- Suffers from culture shock during first semester of College.
- Finds out that yelling "FUCK YOU" at parents is a VERY bad thing.
- Moves into his first apartment with steady girlfriend.
- Surprises entire world by getting married to said girlfriend.
- Proves my lack of foresight by agreeing to purchase a V8 truck.
- Has a quasi-successful blog with some kick-ass readers.
I've done a lot of things over the years, some smart and some dumb. I've made my share of mistakes, and I'll keep making them so I can keep learning how to do it better the next time. I consider it an accomplishment to have made it thus far, alive and intact, with my credit card debt under the national average. I have an undiagnosed neurological problem and a cat that I am convinced is out to kill me, but most importantly... I have a great family, a spectacular circle of friends.
By the time I'll be done writing this post, I will have just a couple hours left of work. Once 4:30pm (EST) arrives, I'll be out the door like a bat outta hell to meet up with my family for my birthday party. I fully intend on overeating (hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, chili) and overdrinking (soda and beer), and tomorrow I plan on oversleeping to recover from it all. The highlight of the evening will definitely be the homemade ice cream cake my mother promised me.
I don't care if it is in bad taste or selfish... Happy Birthday to ME.