In Which I Ponder Random ‘Firsts’

Today's guest post goes to Moonpun. She is someone I greatly respect and hold high regard for. As I've mentioned before, her writing is very honest and very human. Check out what she has to say...

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First, I’d be remiss in not mentioning how honored I am to be a guest blogger on Badass’ blog. He rocks my blogging world in good and poignant ways and his blog is a staple in my life. I was surprised, excited and nearly speechless when I got the e-mail asking me to write a little something.

Given the loose theme of ‘firsts’ I was given by Badass, my brain was ticking in all kinds of directions about firsts and instead of coming up with a good story from my own life, I kept making a random list in my head. Things I’ve been wondering about.

If you haven’t wondered secretly about them yourself, here’s a chance to join my random thoughts. If you have, well… Come out of the corner and join me!

I wonder:

• Who first walked by a cow and looked at the swollen udders and thought “Hey, I bet whatever is inside those tastes good, let me see if she minds if I pull on those?”
• And later, who first decided to store milk inside an animal stomach (they makes great bags you know) and when they opened it up to find cheese thought they should taste it?
• Who first looked at a male cow, with those big honkin’ horns and thought it might be a good idea to ride it? After all, they couldn’t be that sharp, could they?!
• Who first looked at a glob of animal fat and thought ‘hey if we mixed this with other stuff I bet I could make a bar to clean my kid’s grubby face off?”
• Who first looked at a coconut with its incredibly hard shell and brown hair and thought cracking it might produce a good drink?
• How many people (men, probably) were hanging around with a bunch of bungee cords when someone first said “Hey if we get a really long one of these we can jump from bridges and maybe not die!”
• Way back when, what exactly prompted the idea for the first dildo?
• What exactly prompted the first pouring together of vinegar and cucumbers to make pickles?
• Who tells the first joke? You know the one, it’s about whatever the latest trend is, political issues or whatnot? Is there a joke factory they come out of, a secret one whose job it is to come up with the joke first?
• What was going through the mind of the first person who thought about lawnmower racing? (yes, it’s a real thing where I live in Vermont) How big was the yard they were mowing on their riding mower when they thought “Hey if I got a couple friends over and we got a track, we could have some real fun now!”
• What exactly happened to prompt the first thought and invention of those tea-cups at amusement parks? Why sit in a tea cup, of all things, and spin until you get dizzy or puke?

Clearly my list could go on and on (and she told two friends and she told two friends) and even if I found the ‘answers’ well they might be hard to understand. After all, we really don’t know what goes on in other people’s minds. And when you think about it, that’s what makes the world so darn interesting and so incredibly complicated.

Just wondering….am I the first to wonder?