Friday, September 19, 2008

In Which You Say It's Your Birthday

Well, it's my birthday, too. Tomorrow, I mean. Today is my birthday-eve.

In honor of the fact that I'm turning another year older tomorrow, I thought it might be fun to wax nostalgic and talk about the best and worst birthday celebrations I've had in my life. I have many, many stories to share along that vein, but I'll narrow it down to just two.

THE WORST:
1998. Before the Y2K scare, before Windows XP, and just a few short years before Dubya was in office. I was turning 13, which was a monumental day for me. I was finally becoming a teenager! I'm not sure what I was so excited about, because achieving teenage status didn't grant me any special privileges. My grandparents gave me a remote control boat that year, and at the time it was the Holy Grail of birthday presents. It wasn't until the next morning that my parents took me to a place where I could try it out. My mother was watching her friend's two kids for the day, and when we packed things up to go home from the pond, one of the kids busted off the antenna of the controller, rendering it useless. I hadn't had it for a full day yet, and it was broken! I was crushed. I fixed it eventually, but I held a grudge against the kid who ruined it for a couple of years.

THE BEST:
2005. I was passing the two-decade mark of 20 years old. The Girlfriend Soon To Be Known As The Boss and I had moved in together just a couple of days before. We didn't have most of our furniture yet, and so we spent a couple of nights with our mattress on the floor. We had spent the day together, unpacking and arranging things in the apartment. That night, we were fooling around on the bed, and things were getting hot and heavy. She whispered in my ear, "Are you ready for your birthday present?" I won't go into much more detail than that, but that I night I received my first blowjob. There hasn't been a better birthday present since.

---

There isn't much planned for my birthday this year. I wasn't able to get the day off from work, so after I get out The Boss and I are heading over to my parents house for a barbecue. My two sisters should be there, which I am excited for because I haven't seen them in a while. If the weather cooperates, The Boss and I will be taking a day trip on Sunday to a couple of hiking trails in North Conway, NH. Needless to say, I won't be present in the Blogging world until the first part of next week.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

P.S. If anyone is wondering where to send my birthday presents (hint, hint, hint), just shoot me an e-mail.

P.P.S. Just joking.

P.P.P.S. But if you want to send me something, I'll totally give you my address.

16 Comments:

SouthernBelle said...

Happy birthday for tomorrow!

I found you via Queens Fort Mama's blog, the Hear Me Roar post & just wanted to quietly say I totally got where you were coming from and I think she was just releasing a little left-over frustration on you.

I'm pretty shy and it has been known to come across as snobby in some cases, so I know exactly what you mean.

KT said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Forever In School said...

Happy Birthday!!!
Tell us what you got for your birthday when you come back next week. Lego...?!

Aunt Becky said...

Happy Birthday! I'd send you a present, but boogers will degrade in the mail ;)

Cape Cod Gal said...

Happy B-day! My worst birthday was this year. My husband and I weren't even thru our first year of marriage and he forgot my birthday. He strode in at 9pm, late coming home from work, really grumpy and started complaining about his day. I sat on the couch, listened for awhile and then he said "Whats wrong with you" I just looked at him and said "Do you know what today is?" It took him 15 seconds to figure it out and he face went completely white.

I was so upset that my assistant has decided to call him next year and remind him.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Hm, your first blowjob? Thanks for sharing.

I hope you have a fabulous birthday and a great weekend.

I wonder what she'll give you this year...

Lola said...

First off, happy birthday, my friend!

Second, did you get yelled at on someone's blog?

Ah, yes, birthdays blowjobs. Just what you give the man who has everything or nothing. Hope you get another one this year!

Badass Geek said...

Southern Belle: Thanks! I saw your comment on QFM's blog after mine. I appreciate your comment on that. I think it was mostly just some minor miscommunication, but for the shy-at-heart (like us), I had to take a stand.

KT: THANKS!!!!!

FIS: I'll be sure to detail all of my presents, just for you! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Legos.

Aunt Becky: I would treasure a booger for ever and ever, but you're right. It wouldn't last that long.

Cape Cod Gal: So there was no birthday coitus that night, eh?

Employee No 3699: I've been wondering what she plans on giving me this year, too. She won't tell me until tomorrow, though. The suspense!

Lola: I didn't get yelled at, per se, but it was a miscommunication of sorts. And for the record, I'm hoping for a B-Day BJ, too. =)

Moonspun said...

You should have titled your post "Birthdays and Blowjobs!"
Happy Birthday, my friend. You make me feel old (as I turned 23 in 1990) AND young, which is a good thing. Actually age is all relative, truly a state of mind. Though I do need more sleep now!
Have a most wonderful time hiking and relaxing. The world is a better place because you were born. We think so and I bet the Boss is pretty darn happy about it, too. :-)

A.C. said...

Oh yeah...BAG and AC, rockin the September birthdays. Woohoo!

I don't know what AJ got me for my birthday, but I can be sure it isn't a blowjob.

scatterbrain said...

Hope The Boss had a good birthday last week - I forgot to say something.

Wishing you the happiest of happy birthdays tomorrow Badass - you so deserve it.

Hope you haven't seen this clip before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeypOvsY91Q

Daddy Files said...

Birthday head...ain't no substitute!

I'd tell you to wear your "birthday suit" but apparently you've been doing that for four years while flashing your family!

Will wants to say happy birthday too as he's straining to get at the keyboard. So here's Will:

m cv.'.tfd c dddddddddddddds@Ws2a3E

Heather said...

Well Happy Birthday just in case I'm not online tomorrow!

enthalpymama said...

Happy Birthday! I know in one of your other posts you mentioned your tender age, but it still surprises me that you are as young as you admit. You were really thirteen in 1998? You were born in 1985? Really? That is astonishing. Well, I'll forgive you for all of that. Since I required four glasses of cab after my rediculous post, I guess I am not one to talk. In fact, Indy recommended that I not blog plastered, and apparently I did not heed her warning. So sorry. Happy birhtday.

Badass Geek said...

Moonspun: At 23, I need all the sleep I can get, so I'm with you on that one. =)

AC: September birthdays are the best! Ask AJ for a BJ, see what his reaction is.

Scatterbrain: The Boss did have a great birthday - I'll pass along the well wishes. I hope to have a good day today, too. (I hadn't seen that clip before... Thanks for sharing!)

Daddy Files: Look at Will... Not even a year old and already making sense with words on a keyboard, just like his dad! J/K. I'll keep the birthday suit between The Boss and I this year.

Heather: Thanks! I appreciate it.

Enthalpy Mama: I was really born in 1985, and I'm really 23 today. If it is any consolation, I feel much older than just 23.

Jen W said...

Happy Birthday! My birthday is around Thanksgiving and we used to always go to my grandparents house during that time. When I was a teenager, I hated it because I never got to celebrate with my friends.

Post a Comment