Tuesday, November 4, 2008

In Which I Suffer

I think there is something wrong with me.

My finger's are twitching in quick, erratic motions.

My eyes are moving from side to side, all on their own.

My right index finger, after a period of rest from twitching, pulses rapidly in sets of two, often making a flicking motion in between.

I think I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms from not having the Internet at home. We're so far out in the sticks, I can't even get the Internet on my cellphone.

I crave the Internet. I need the Internet.

I need to know that I can check my e-mail 37 times an hour if I want to. I need to know that I can check for new feeds to read, browse Craigslist, and look at porn if I so desire. I need to know that I can post new entries whenever I'd like and respond to comments the moment I get them. I need to just have it, even if I'm not using it.

More than anything, I need to find a dealer in these parts.

I need my Internet fix, and I don't care how I get it.

DSL, dial-up, satellite... Just give me a connection so I can feel human again.

Who would have thought that I'd become a junkie? I wonder if there is an Internet Addicts Anonymous support group around here.

Will anyone be my sponsor? I need help.

P.S. If you're of age and a US citizen, go vote today!


Heather said...

Just give in to it.

Moonspun said...

it's hard to suddenly not have it when you've had it. The withdrawal isn't fun. I don't know that any of us would be good as your sponsor. We are your ONLINE friends!

Jen W said...

Sorry- no sponsorship here. I'm a full blown addict myself.

LilSass said...

As Jen said, we can't sponsor each other if we all succumb to the shakes and withdrawals at times.

The people who live above me (with the internet router) were supposed to move out this past Saturday. Late Friday night it dawned on me, "I WON'T HAVE ANY INTERNET!!!" My friend and I thought of all the ways I could fix this and whatthehell was I going to do with no internet and no tv? OH MY GOSH!!!!! Turns out they didn't move and I didn't need to find a new 'dealer' afterall. Hahaha

Hello Michael, welcome to IAA (internet addicts anonymous)!

Sus said...

I feel your pain. As of last Friday, this is the first time in 4 years that we have any internet of ANY KIND. So all of my posting, etc has had to happen at work. And I spend the weekends thinking about what cool posts I have missed. It sucked.

But not anymore!!!

Aunt Becky said...


My blog (not my internet. We have 2! Internet providers, so if one goes down...) was down for a bit yesterday and I was freaking the hell out. No real reason. Just wanted my bloooogggg back.

scatterbrain said...

I couldn't cope in your situation.

You have my deepest sympathies.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Hello, my name is Linda and I'm a Blogoholic. Sorry, no sponsorship from me either.

MadWoman said...

See this is the worst part about moving as far as I'm concerned. Boxes of stuff I can live with. Not knowing where anything is, I can live with.

Not having my lifeline...is not acceptable.

Miss Grace said...

I can't sponsor you, I'm not on the wagon myself.

Lola said...

I'll be your sponsor, man. As long as you're okay with me using the old "Do as I say, not as I do" approach, I can talk you down.

You've got my cell number, so just call me any time, day or night, and I'll set you straight. Oh, and if you get my voicemail, it just means I'm checking e-mails or commenting on blogs on my Crackberry. Don't worry. I'll get right back to you.

OMG!! The annoying word verification word is "dying." I guess Blogger knows you're dying to get wired up.

Cape Cod Gal said...

I would be your sponsor, but I would have to admit that I also am an addict as well. I'm not....really I'm not. Will you excuse me for a minute while I check my 5 email addresses, read two blogs and reply to the comments on my own. ....ok, now I'm really to help you.

Kat said...

If you find a support group sign me up. Unless it is an online one, cause then I won't be able to make meetings seeing as how I will be net-less soon.

Badass Geek said...

Heather: MUST... RESIST!

Moonspun: It is hard, and I never thought it would be.

Jen W: Oh, alright.

LilSass: There is a wireless signal at my home, but its password-protected. I spent two hours trying to break it. I'm pathetic.

Sus: You must be enjoying the good life, then. Tell me how it feels.

Aunt Becky: I would freak out, too. Internet, but no blog? That would be pure HELL.

Scatterbrain: I appreciate it.

Employee No 3699: Misery loves company, doesn't it?

MadWoman: It really isn't. I need my 100mbps!

Miss Grace: I'm running as fast as I can to get back on the wagon.

Lola: Awesome, thanks! I'll be sure to call at 1:00 AM every morning, wimpering and crying.

Cape Cod Gal: I'm just glad I have a job that lets me use the Internet with free reign. Otherwise, I'd be fucked.

Kat: I'll let you know what I find out.

Lola said...

Sadly, I'll be up until 1 AM most every night. Remember, I'm a vampire. Just don't call before 8 AM, and we'll be all set.

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