Monday, December 15, 2008

In Which I Am Full Of Resolve

I have been making New Year's resolution's to make some changes in my life for the past seven or eight years. And for the past seven or eight years, I haven't kept a single one any longer than January 19th. I don't fail because I set lofty, unachievable goals for myself, but rather because I just lose the desire and motivation to make any changes. Besides, it's not like I was setting out to build a homeless shelter or plant a dozen tree's each month. My resolutions were always to "swear less" or "don't pick nose while driving".

This year, though, I'm changing all of that. I'm going to make some resolutions for myself that I know I can achieve, and I'm going to pull through. You can tell by all the italics that I'm determined to come out the victor this year. I've come up with a list of my resolutions, and I'd like to share them with you.

RESOLUTIONS: HOW TO BE A BETTER BADASS GEEK IN 2009
  • Watch Episodes I, II, and III of Star Wars (even though they kinda suck) enough times to memorize the dialogue, so I can be a better fan.
  • Give more people the finger when they piss me off while driving.
  • Improve on my "apathy" expression.
  • Get another tattoo.
  • Play all the songs on Guitar Hero on Expert, with my eyes closed.
  • Be more polite to the people that deserve it, and more of a dick to those that don't.
  • Wear less tube socks.
  • Play less air guitar, and more real guitar.
  • Purchase less magazine's about Sudoku and more about naked women.
  • Hook up my vintage Sega Genesis.
  • Learn more about CSS coding.
  • Drink more beer.
  • Watch more Sci-Fi movies.
  • Go to a heavy metal concert.
  • Go to a Weird Al concert.
  • Become more coordinated.
  • Figure out a way to hack into my neighbor's encrypted wireless network.
  • Watch more movie's that don't fit into the "Sci-Fi" genre.
  • Listen to more Johnny Cash.
  • Smoke the occasional cigar.

There are other, more serious things that I hope to accomplish than the few I've listed above, but I didn't want to give it all away at once. Feel free to take some of these resolutions and apply it to your life as 2009 approaches. After all, there's no shame in wanting to be a Badass Geek.

... Right?

19 Comments:

Moonspun said...

Right. I can check off 'wear less tube socks',so I feel vindicagted already.
I don't actually believe in doing New year's resolutions. I hate January, so why would I want to start a new life? It's all I can do to get through winter. I'd rather change my life at a happier time of year.
But good luck. I can see you kicking back with a cigar, drinking beer, thumbing through a magazine of naked women, wearing black socks and randoming shouting lines from Star Wars.
Ah, now that sounds like a great life.

Cape Cod Gal said...

Excellent list! I have been working on mine and will post it after Xmas. Mine is a bit more perverse, but whatta ya expect from me.

PS. Where is the next installment of your story? It's been days already! WTF???????

splodge said...

Looks like a very good list to me. My advice? Remain flexible.

This year I resolve to never make a New Years' resolution again!

Heather said...

WTF? Dude, seriously, you ripped off my entire list. Especially the ones about buying more naked girly mags, and being a dick to people. Stop looking over my shoulder when I'm blogging, sheeeeeeeeesh.

Pamela said...

I've already given up tube socks entirely. But I am all in for the beer and cigars. Well, after April, anyway.

Miss Grace said...

I'm not ready to work on my list yet. I'm still deciding on which of my uncompleted goals need to be carried over, and which need to be abandoned.

Kat said...

I need to get started on my to do list. The only thing I have on it right now is to lose 20 lbs. Yeah, I know, original!

Sus said...

Would you be jealous if I told you I saw Return of the Jedi in the theater...the FIRST time it was released?

That's right. Who's the Badass now?!

Aunt Becky said...

Now you've ALMOST redeemed yourself after the whole Britney comment last post with the whole you now heart Johnny Cash thing. Because he is my personal hero.

Jen W said...

Huh. Interesting. I was actually going to try to wear *more* tube socks in '09.

Lola said...

Well, I listen to the Man in Black every day, so I'm good on that. Never wore a fucking tube sock in my life, and I never will. You should really stop that. No, really.

Don't know what Soduku (?) is, but it can't be better than naked women, and drinking more beer is probably a good idea, seeing that you've never been drunk.

Wait, are you trying to be less of a geek or a better geek? I'm lost.

Just drink beer, smoke cigars, tell off assholes and buy Hustler is my advice. Works for me and 99 percent of the men in the world!

Badass Geek said...

Moonspun: The image of myself with a beer and a cigar, with a skin mag? Sounds pretty damn nice.

Cape Cod Gal: I would expect perverse from you. =) And the next part of the story will be coming out next month... Once a month, remember?

Splodge: I'm with you on that one!

Heather: I'm sorry, but you should have just posted it before I did.

Pamela: Yeah, I've heard that alcohol and tobacco aren't good for the womb-bound.

Miss Grace: A little nip/tuck on the Resolution list never hurt anyone.

Kat: I could stand to do that, too.

Sus: Excuse me while I go sulk in jealousy in the other room.

Aunt Becky: I have you to credit for it, too.

Jen W: Well, to each his own. I'm switching to ankle-length.

Lola: Sudoku is a number puzzle game, and no, it's decidely WORSE than naked woman. My goal by the list is to get better at the Badass part of me, as I've got the Geek part down solid.

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x said...

Ain't no shame at all, baby.

Your first one cracked me up because I honestly did that back in the day with such movies as "Annie" and "Sixteen Candles."
I'm sure those will be on your list next year, right? :)

Badass Geek said...

AReason2Write: An award? Sweet!

X: Those movies will never be on my list. Probably because my wife has made me seen them enough times already.

gingermagnolia said...

This is definitely the best one...

"Be more polite to the people that deserve it, and more of a dick to those that don't."

Good idea.

Tony said...

dude, I'm always using Star Wars lines and most times people don't even realize that I'm doing it.

Alan said...

A little late, but something that might go towards the Geek part is using 'fewer' instead of 'less.'
Love your blog, up there with JV's 15minlunch.

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