Yesterday, I got it into my head that I wanted to build a small bookshelf for the top of my dresser. I had all that I needed to build it: a couple of 2x4's, a hand saw, some screws, and a cordless drill. I knew that this wasn't going to be a wood shop masterpiece, and as I was taking measurements I dubbed it a White Trash bookshelf.
I was just about done cutting all the pieces when my hand slipped and brushed against the blade of the saw. I didn't even realize I had cut myself until I felt something running down my hand. It was bleeding at a pretty good rate, and with nothing to stop the bleeding immediately at hand, I stuck my finger in my mouth and ran inside.
I got the bleeding to stop after five minutes or so, and cleaned it out as best I could with peroxide and hot water. I knew I was out of date for my tetanus shot, and I suspected I might need a stitch or two for the cut, so I called my doctors office to let them know I was coming in.
45 minutes later, I walked out of my doctors office with a sore arm from the tetanus shot and two stitches in my finger. It was an exciting afternoon to say the least. I wont post any pictures, because the wound isn't very pleasant to look at.
By this time tomorrow morning, I will be en route to the bus terminal to make the trip down to Boston for an appointment with my neurologist. I want to thank all of those who responded to my plea for help a couple of weeks ago. Your donations helped make this visit to Boston for my appointment possible, and for that I am very grateful.
As with each time I make this medical pilgrimage, I’m not really sure what to expect for an outcome from this appointment. I hope to be one step closer towards a diagnosis, but I know that there is too much speculation at this point for that to be all but a speck on the horizon. It took my mother (who has the same neurological problems as I do) nine years to get her diagnosis. I don’t expect it to be that long for me. At least I hope so.
The worst part about all of this is not knowing what it is. If it was Multiple Sclerosis or Epilepsy or even the brain tumor they’ve speculated about, at least I’d know what it is. I would accept a diagnosis of cancer at this point, if just to finally know what all of this is. It is unbelievably frustrating for me, and for my doctor I’m sure, to go to these appointments being hopeful for an answer but walking away feeling just as confused and lost. This experience has been like, and pardon my use of the cliché, a never-ending roller coaster... One that straps you in and doesn’t let you off, throwing you for loop after loop of high-rising emotions and anxiety, loneliness and questioning, depression and fear.
While I know I won’t get a diagnosis this time around, I know that I can at least expect to get some more information. There will be some comparing of the MRI scans of myself, my mother, and my younger sister, to see if there are any similarities between all three. We know already that both my mother and I have Grey Matter Heterotopia in the same region of the brain, but it is unknown if my younger sister, who has petite-mal seizures, has it, too. In addition to that, I hope to talk about the sleep study I had done in September. If I can’t get a definitive answer, I’ll take as much information as I can get.
Tomorrow is sure to be a long day, but at least the weather looks like it will be decent. I’ll be back on Friday with a post detailing the information gained at this appointment, and possibly some pictures of The Boss’ cat Liam, who is scheduled to be neutered on Friday.
As always, I’ll be updating via Twitter as much as I can, and you can send short messages to my cell phone by e-mailing me at badassgeek(at)vtext(dot)com.
See you on Friday!