I wrote this post thinking that it was a way to make a few jokes and knock down a blog post at the same time. But no, some of you want to see how I'd turn some of those fake-post ideas into an actual post. Miss Grace specifically challenged me to write about the Show-er vs. Grow-er topic.
I'm not sure exactly where I first heard about this theory, but the basic principle is that there are two different types of penii in the world: Show-ers and Grow-ers. Regardless of what type each man has, they are still, when you get down to it, your basic regular Man Muscle. They still are awkward to carry around down there and sometimes get excited for no reason at all (like when you're driving on a bumpy road), but a Love Stick nonetheless. The difference that exists enough to need a name for it is how one's Slim Jim appears in size when flaccid.
For the Show-er type, The Bishop is pretty much the same size when at ease as when standing at attention. The Grow-er type, however, is much smaller when dormant and "grows" to it's full splendor when the draft is called. This natural phenomenon is the cause of what some call Penis Envy, which normally begins in gym locker rooms in junior high.
Personally, I am a grow-er. When my Beanstalk is not being climbed, it is rather petite in size. Should I catch a glimpse of The Boss' cleavage or wake up after a sex dream, though, it grows to a very respectable size. This claim is not my own, for those who think I exaggerate. One can read the description I wrote of my Sausage back in August 2008 by clicking here.
I'm not sure if this reveals too much about me, but I'm past the point of being shy about it.
Hope this clears things up. Happy Monday!