Wednesday, February 11, 2009

In Which I Cannot Resist

Does anyone remember this post

You know, the one where I (jokingly) suggested that those who couldn't pass a minimum IQ test should be quarantined and kept in a maximum security facility? And how those detained in said facility would be forced to educate themselves to the proper standards of intelligence before they would be allowed to be a member of the general public? 

That, of course, was all a joke. If such a thing were real, though, I would have the perfect candidate for imprisonment... The person who came to my blog for Googling the following phrase:

"things that make light"

The guy wasn't searching for how to make a nuclear power plant in their backyard with a 'roided-up hamster on a wheel, jumper cables, and a pile of broken smoke detectors. He was searching for what objects produce light. As in the opposite of dark. How anyone, short of those still floating inside their mothers amniotic fluids, could lack the knowledge so basic as this just astounds me. It is the year 2009, people. We're not cavemen anymore. 

Just off the top of my head, here are some things that I know make light: 
  • The Sun
  • Candles
  • Fire
  • Matches
  • Lighters
  • Light bulbs (invented in 1879*, by the way)
  • Compact Florescent bulbs (for the energy-conscious)
  • Flashlights
  • LED's
  • Glow-in-the-dark stickers
  • Your cell phone
I didn't even have to go to Google to come up with that list. Unless I am mistaken, this kind of thing is common knowledge, right?

Seems to me like someone has had one too many blows to the head.

* Invented by Thomas Edison, who just happened to be born on this day in 1847. Happy Birthday, Tom!


Kat said...

The depths of human stupidity never surprise me.

MIT Mommy said...

Ah, yes, as my hubby said the other day "there always has to be a dumbest one in the class." I'd add fireflies to your list. Oh, and those fish that live 1000 feet under the ocean that my son was asking about this morning. (Oh, that's right, but he's six,and clearly smarter than the person who googled).

Moonspun said...

Oh my goodness. As I always say, you can't really make up the good stuff. Priceless, and very , very sad.
But good blogging fodder!

Employee No. 3699 said...

I was thinking fireflies too. How about fire works and lightning?

Lola said...

Hey, morons are usually very happy people. It must be nice to not have a clue sometimes.

Sus said...

Tommy! Happy Birthday, you clever ol' bastard!

Miss Grace said...

They make an iPhone/iPod Touch ap called "flashlight" that just makes the screen glow white. Surprisingly handy.

They also make one called "Zippo" yknow, to wave around at concerts or whatever.

Just on the list of things that make light.

Oh. Prometheus?

Bee and Rose said...

Lol! I found you through Kat's are a flippin' riot, Badass Geek!

Here's another light source...Heat Miser's hair....

splodge said...

You make light Badass!

It was probably some little kid doing his homework project - why use his brain when Google can do it for him?

Tony said...

oooh,oooh, I know one - lightsabers

I've never claimed to be the smartest one in the bunch.

areason2write said...

some people are better off left in the dark - the light hurts their beady little eyes too much.

Badass Geek said...

Kat: Me, neither.

MIT Mommy: Those fish are awesome!

Moonspun: I do feel bad for the guy.

Employee No 3699: All of them are good suggestions.

Lola: Must be why I'm in such a good mood all the time.

Sus: And thanks for the phonograph!

Miss Grace: Yet another reason why I want one.

Bee and Rose: Glad you came by!

Splodge: Smart kid.

Tony: Damnit! How could I have forgotten about lightsabers?

A Reason 2 Write: I agree.

Jen W said...

Maybe the person googling was a vampire and was looking for a comprehensive list of all things that could result in his/her demise??? Okay- I know, I'm grasping at straws here...

Rachel said...


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