Monday, February 16, 2009

In Which I Live In A Small Town

When you live in a small town, as I do in Western Maine, there are certain things that you get to experience that you wouldn't have the opportunity to see otherwise. For example:
  • Where else can you see an entire family of four with the same hair style? In addition, where else can The Mullet still be considered an acceptable choice of style?
  • Where else can you see women with better, fuller mustaches than men?
  • Where else can you buy a quart of motor oil, a gallon of milk, rifle ammunition, and an Italian sandwich all in the same space?
  • Where else would only have one gas station with two pumps, one of which is always out of order?
  • Where else is new adhesive vinyl flooring and spray paint considered remodeling?
  • Where else can you find a store that stocks 37 varieties of beer, but only one cooler for water and soda combined?
  • Where else is camouflage clothing considered formal wear?
  • Where else can you see more spelling and grammatical errors on storefront signs than on a child's first-grade writing assignment?
It is definitely an experience, and despite the small town atmosphere with not even one traffic light, I love it here. It is quiet and life just seems to run slower out here.

Anyone want to come visit? 


Heather said...

It sounds idyllic.

MIT Mommy said...

Let's see - a 17 hour drive? I'll drop off my kids tonight.

My friend yesterday and I were talking about some mom who ran away. I can't remember the whole conversation, but she finally told me that "you aren't supposed to run away WITH your kids." My response? "What? You mean I even stink at running away???"

areason2write said...

you should see India hee hee

Russ said...

You should come down to North Carolina! You get all that and better weather! You want snow, move to the western side of the state. You want hurricanes, move to the eastern side of the state.

About the only thing that we don't have that is on the list is the women with fuller facial hair.

Bee and Rose said...

And this is why I love small towns:) (and after discovering my perimenopausal facial hair yesterday, I think I'll fit right in!)

Moonspun said...

You'll have to send me the list of 37 varieties of beer first!
I live in a small town, two, but we have at least ONE traffic light.
I like the "No shooting, village limits" sign I see around here.
PS, still think the heading of your blog is too big. Creative, but too big.

Cape Cod Gal said...

I could probably be there in about 3 hours or so. Any leftover spagetti and meatballs?

Tony said...

You should come to Vegas. Here you'll see

1. guys with better make-up than most girls

2. girls hugging another girl sitting by the fountain as they stare into each other's eyes both filled with love for each other.

3. Homeless people sleeping along the fence in a line that is amazingly long.

4. guys walking the streets drinking beer - the bottle in plain sight.

5. People gambling their grocery money in the slot machines at the entrance of the grocery store.

...and many more things, but I like here and couldn't see myself living anywhere else. You should come visit.

Lola said...

I just came back from New Hampshire, and I can tell you that things aren't much different there. Gotta love it!

Our town used to be that way until all the farms were sold for McMansions. We still only have one streetlight, but the snoots have caused all the fun stuff to be run out of town.

FrankandMary said...

I did have a chiken n fies $3.99 sign in my town for a while. Do we qualify? There is a lady who has been waiting on me in the same store all my life and her hair has not changed. I find that comforting lol. ~Mary

Maggie May said...

just a small town girl
livin in a lonely world


i was born in a small town
gonna die in that same small town


want to build a lego small town and live in it?

that last one was mine.

x said...

Now I have to know where you live. It sounds like a place where "My Big Redneck Wedding" is filmed. :)

BTW, the new design is dope!

Kat said...

Small town life in England is funny. We have a convenience store, a tanning salon, a Turkish Kabob shop, a news stand, 3 pubs, a dog groomer and a BMW car sales lot (right next door to a house that has the most awful beater cars ever).

Badass Geek said...

Heather: It is.

MIT Mommy: My landlords might frown upon a sudden increase in tenants.

A Reason 2 Write: I'm sure!

Russ: Hurricanes? Sign me up.

Bee and Rose: Only if its in the form of a handlebar mustache. That seems to be the trend around here.

Moonspun: One traffic light? I'm jealous.

Cape Cod Gal: Sadly, the leftovers are gone. For you, though, I'd make some more.

Tony: I dunno if I could make it in Vegas. I'd probably get myself killed for pointing and laughing and the metro-guys.

Lola: Out! Out, damn snoot!

Frank and Mary: Sure, that qualifies. It's a good deal, to boot.

Maggie May: Thank you! I was waiting to see if anyone would see that.

X: Glad you like the new design!

Kat: Who can afford a BMW these days?

Jen W said...

The family of four with the mullet is just trying to show who they are: Business in the front, party in the back.

Glamour Girl said...

I like your style!

Rachel Tamed said...

Is there a Starbucks at least? My parents live in a tiny (very similar) town in the middle of nowhere in Nevada, and my biggest gripe is that Jack Daniels is easier to track down at 5 am than any form of coffee. Makes for a long day/visit.

The Social Frog said...

Hey, I love Maine and am looking forward to moving back maybe next year, all of my family and friends are there.

Badass Geek said...

Jen W: But still. A mullet? Ugh.

Glamour Girl: Why, thank you!

Rachel Tamed: The closest Starbucks is about an hour away, but we do have a couple general stores open at 5:30am, and a Dunkin Donuts not too far away.

The Social Frog: Maine is a pretty rockin' place. I love it here, too.

Miss Grace said...

Answer: Canada (I kid!)

Daddy Files said...

Dude, I'm only 3-4 hours away and I fucking LOVE Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. I used to go camping in N. Monmouth, ME every year and I love how backwoods and rural everything is. I would definitely live out your way if I could ever sell my damn condo!

Aubs said...

Thus the reason I've sworn off small town living. My childhood consisted of one small town after another, damaging me for life. I'm quite happy with my city of over 1.4 million... Also, if you think small towns in Maine are bad, come to Texas. You'll gain a whole new perspective!

Badass Geek said...

Miss Grace: You're probably right, though.

Daddy Files: N Monmouth is about 1.5 hours further north from where I live. That means you're more in redneck country than I am.

Aubs: I grew up in a fairly big town, so I find it nice to be out here in the quiet, where you can't see the city lights on the horizon.

Wilwarin said...

I'm pretty sure you could find more types of beer in australia. and possibly less 'soda'. or water for that matter, unless someone watered down the beer.
from wilwarin

splodge said...

I live in a small town named Orpington, but we call it 'Orkington' because it is full of Orks - most of them are my neighbours. Want to do a swap?

splodge said...

I really LIKE the big header. It's different.

DrBen said...

Sure sounds like Fryeburg to me..

Badass Geek said...

Wilwarin: You are probably right.

Splodge: The name of my town is much less interesting. And no, I think I'd like to stay here. I might come visit, though.

Dr Ben: Very close, but not quite.

DrBen said...

I'm in Sacramento, Ca now, but my mom lived in Denmark and worked in Fryeberg from the mid 80's through 1996. They kept a summer place there until 2001.

Jenn(ifer) said...

Love this post!

Found you from 20something bloggers and wanted to say "Hi" from the Eastern part of our state :-)

Badass Geek said...

Dr Ben: Fryeburg is just a couple towns over. A nice place, though.

Jenn(ifer): Hey! Always nice to know another Mainer.

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