Friday, April 3, 2009

In Which I Am (Not) Surprised

It's been a while since I've run down a list of the strange and interesting search terms that have brought people to my blog. I've had some pretty strange ones lately, so I'll just get right into it.

"butt pinch aunt"
While I've never had my butt pinched by my aunt, I still feel your pain on this one. My butt has gotten pinched so many times by people I don't know. I seem to have been blessed with heavenly hind quarters that just beg to be pinched. Just ask The Boss, she can't keep her hands off of 'em.

"doctor felt up my wife"
This sounds like the developing plot of a bad porno, or the late-night search by some poor guy who is researching information on how to file a lawsuit against his wife's amorous physician.

"how to make a cheetah badass"
There is just no practical situation that I can think of where anyone would need to know how to do this. I'm not even sure one could make a cheetah badass, considering they don't have much by way of personality. This one just confuses me.

"I can't prove I'm smarter than you"
You know, you're probably right. Why risk the embarrassment?

"misery loves company expression"
Don't you hate it when the answer to your question is staring right back at you?

"what is it like to pass a stone"
Imagine you have to pee really badly, but instead of urine, a flood of over sized red-hot cacti edged with razor blades and angry porcupines comes pouring out. Combine that with having a doctor punch you repeatedly in the kidneys to break up any larger stones, and you've got yourself a neat and memorable little experience. 

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Have a good weekend!

EDIT:

Aunt Becky came to me today and asked me to post this to help spread the word. Her good friend, k@lakly at This Is Not What I Had Planned sent her an email this morning about something that happened with one of her children, and is asking for help from people to see if anyone has ever heard of this.

Recently, she took her son into his 4 month well-baby visit for some shots. He got the standard grouping of shots, (diphtheria/tetanus/pertussis, Haemophilus influenzae type b, polio, and prevnar). Today, he ended up in anaphylaxis and stopped breathing. He was brought to the hospital and is stable now, but the fact that this happened is confusing to his doctors.

The doctors treating him have never seen anything like this before, which is why I'm helping to spread the word about it. Has anyone ever heard of this happening? Anything that you've heard about or anything similar to what happened here would be helpful. Please e-mail me (badassgeekATgmailDOTcom) with whatever information you have, or leave a comment on this post.

Thank you!

16 Comments:

FrankandMary said...

I'd block the guy who has been romancing on pinching his Aunt's ass. But that's just me. ~Mary

Heather and Jase said...

Omg the stone one has me clutching my no-no place. YIKES!

Lola said...

Cheetahs are already BADASS! Just try to outrun one ;)

Oh, and I keep forgetting to tell you I love the new header. So, now I've told you.

Maggie May said...

This is awesome! I think Cheetah's are badass too :) And the misery loves company thing cracked me up.

Employee No. 3699 said...

And yet another reason to post a picture of your ass.

Miss Grace said...

Cheetah's can actually be sort of wimpy. Did you know they lose 80% of their kill to other bigger, stronger predators?

x said...

My doctor felt up my wife: LOL. Hey, that's the whole reason I go to the doctor!

Kat said...

I just get people looking for porn on my site. It must be because of the word bedroom and the stripper nicknames of my girls.

Cape Cod Gal said...

Okay, you've put it out there. Now we need a picture of said hindquarters. Doesn't have to be nude, jeans will do...boxer briefs are better..

Heather said...

I haven't mentioned the finale of ER cuz I haven't hulu'ed it yet so don't tell me!

I have never heard of a child I know going into anaphylaxis from shots, but I would imagine, you can be allergic to anything. Don't some of those shots contain egg albumen? I think that's an allergen. Also, did they use rubber gloves when they gave him the shots? It sounds to me like he had an allergic reaction to something, and maybe it isn't even related to the shots. Has he been tested for other allergies? Some people give their kids peanut products without knowing they are allergic to them. My niece is allergic, and I have to carry around an epipen when I have her, so I'm very familiar with allergies and the reactions they cause.

splodge said...

Obviously my blog is much too tame and cheesy as I don't get many creepy searches...just enough to make me realise that there are far more really freaky weirdos out there than I'm comfortable with. *nervously bolts doors*.

Badass Geek said...

Frank and Mary: Yeah, that's just creepy.

Heather and Jase: Me, too.

Lola: Glad you like it! I like it, too.

Maggie May: That one was the best one I've had in a while.

Employee No 3699: Maybe. Just maybe.

Miss Grace: I didn't know that, but that you for sharing.

X: To each his own, I guess.

Kat: Yeah, that'd get old after a while if it were me.

Cape Cod Gal: I dunno... I'm not sure The Boss wants me sharing myself.

Heather: It was a good finale, just not quite what I was expecting.

Splodge: I'm with you on that one.

areason2write said...

I feel like doing a George Carlin post with just a list of exciting words so I can get more interesting searches 8-)

Jen W said...

Ha!!! I always love these posts!

tnomeralc said...

Hey dude...I like this qoute
"what is it like to pass a stone" of yours.

I must've puked down my foot with porcupines in my back. LOL.

MIT Mommy said...

The only interesting one I've gotten isn't that interesting "another frightening blog about the economy".

As for your friend's child, it does sound like an allergic reaction. There have been changes to the additives put in vaccines over the years (for instance, they stopped putting mercury in them because someone figured out that mercury is poisonous). My bet would be an additive, but it seems odd that the reaction would have taken so long.

It could be an allergy that was unrelated to the shots. I wish her luck. That is really scary.

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