Saturday, May 30, 2009

In Which I Vomit In My Mouth

I was browsing the Best-Of section of Craigslist the other day when I came across something that made me throw up a little in my mouth. I should have been prepared for the worst when I read the title of the entry, especially considering the site that hosted this little gem. It was horribly disgusting and it took away my appetite, but I just have to share it with you all. Those with weak stomachs should click away now.

The entry (click here for the link) was titled "I Need Someone To Dry My Placenta".


Okay, yeah. Even after reading through this a couple of times, it still kind of turns my stomach. As gross as the idea of that is, if some formerly-pregnant chick wants to eat her own afterbirth, who am I to say no? I won't stand in the way of one's ambitions, even if it sounds absolutely nauseating. To each his or her own.

She is correct when she said that a lot of animals tend to eat the placenta after giving birth. The Boss grew up on a goat farm, and she's told me stories about how the mother goats would chow down on their placenta like it was a free buffet. Sure, its natural for animals, but for humans? If you're looking to take something that benefits your health, take a fucking multivitamin.

I just can't imagine someone actually doing that. I mean, seriously. Giving birth isn't like going to a restaurant. It'd be awfully weird I'd think for the OB doctors, wiping sweat from their brow after working hard to safely deliver this woman's baby, to see this woman point to the bowl containing the gory carnage that is afterbirth and be all like, "Can I get that to go?" 

I can't help but wonder if she actually got a response.


Kat said...

Ok, the only MEDICAL reason I can think for ingesting placenta would be to restore the iron lost from the blood lost during the birthing process. I think to have it made into capsules and taken over weeks or months would actually do no good. Even still the idea of eating placenta dehydrated or fresh makes my stomach turn.

Isabella said...

Wow...I don't know what to say. And here I thought it was strange that someone would save the placenta and use it for tree fertilizer.


Laura said...

Wow.... people never cease to amaze me. That is really f-ing disgusting.

Ofcourse after reading this, I had to do a little further research. Apparently, there are beliefs that eating the placenta will help to shrink back your uterus after giving birth, help to keep away postpartum depression and help ease the pain after giving birth and bring some of your energy back. Although some have this belief, there is really no medical evidence to back it up.

Wow. I guess you learn something new every day.

Aunt Becky said...

So you found my ad! Can you dry my placenta for me?

lovelila said...

wow...Wow...WOW. I don't know what to say besides WTF? Oh, and gross.

daria said...

But then again mammals do a lot of other things, too... eat poop, lick their butts, sniff/lick others' butts... I don't know. Can't this type of logic carry you pretty far? I know people sometimes keep their placentas, in the freezers or whatever, but I can't imagine what it can be useful for, unless it's a religious thing (like the Hmong, who have to bury the placenta for the infant's soul to be released). Anyway, yeah. People sure are weird.

Employee No. 3699 said...

I bet that would go great some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

MIT Mommy said...

I had the obvious reaction as well. However, my second thought is that this dear woman probably needs LOTS of support. If she is this focused on 'doing the right thing' she is liable to become dangerous to herself or her baby after the birth.

Hormones to horrible things to a person's ability to think clearly.


By the way, black widow spiders eat their mates - yeah, not always a good idea to mimick the rest of nature!

Daddy Files said...

Placenta tastes like chicken. It's not so bad when mixed with the blood, amniotic fluid and chopped bits of umbilical cord. And it can be served as a sandwich or as pancakes.

I can't believe you guys DON'T eat placenta. I guess I'm the only one who believes in going green...

You freaks!

Miss Grace said...

My midwife offered me recipes for my placenta, the only unkilled meat! Vegan-friendly!

I declined.

Moonspun said...

Uh, hmmm...well, you know I am pretty open minded when it comes to odd things. But I don't really get that. If you don't have the stomach to look at your placenta in a food dehydrator, why know you'll eventually eat it?
I have seen art made from them and it's very interesting. But wow...eating it?
What section in Craiglist was that in???

Roberto said...

My friend and I just threw up a litte. Ugh.

cocokrispybeans said...

There's a market for dired placenta in every continent but ours. Apparently, it's OK to eat any old placenta in, say, Thailand, but here in the old U.S. and Canada it's only OK to dry and eat one's own.

I'm not sure which mind-set is more odd. Poll?

Aunt Juicebox said...

Um, I don't think that I'd trust some unknown pacenta drying stranger to dry it out for me. I mean what if they SAY they are going to dry it out, and then they just eat it instead? Then I am out my placenta and it'll take at least 9 months to get another one.

Cape Cod Gal said...

Hmm...I think no. No and EWWWW!!!!

Mad Woman said...

Couldn't she just plant it under a fucking tree? Holy bejeez...The LAST thing I wanted to do after pushing the giant melon out of my body was eat the thing it was attached to. I'd rather eat haggis.

Lola said...

Yeah, 'cuz you can trust everyone you meet through Craigslist. Makes me wonder what happened to my placenta. There's probably some black market going on, where the nurses are cleaning up literally and figuratively.

Badass Geek said...

Kat: Yes, but they invented blood transfusions for that.

Isabella: Would it make the tree grow babies?

Laura: People believe some weird shit these days.

Aunt Becky: Yes. For a cool $100k.

Love Lila: Yes. WTF and gross.

Daria: Do what you want for religions sake, just don't expect me to accept it as my own, is my motto.

Employee No 3699: Okay, thats just wrong. Wrong-er.

MIT Mommy: I think there have been times where The Boss would have wanted to kill me, but she wouldn't be able to eat all of me before most of me went bad.

Daddy Files: You are one sick fuck, my friend.

Miss Grace: Good choice.

Moonspun: Art from placenta? That is just... not something I want to see.

Roberto: Glad I could help.

Cocokrispybeans: I don't think I'd have the stomach for such a thing.

Aunt Juicebox: Placenta's take FOREVER to grow.

Cape Cod Gal: I'm with you on this one.

Mad Woman: And haggis is fucking gross.

Lola: You know, you're probably right.

areason2write said...

I love the "no stupid emails, please" - this is beyond gross

Nej said...

Oh yeah....I'm glad I ate breakfast a while ago. :-)

We used to breed dogs for a few years....and I always had to step out of the room for that part. Ick!!!

Dan said...

If it helps and makes you feel better, there is a whole part of the web devoted to this... And I'm talking COOKING pages here. Recipe ideas and cooking guides.


Clicky Click!

Bee and Rose said...

Whoa...I CANNOT even begin to wrap my brain around that one! YIKES!

FrankandMary said...

It has iron, but errr, you can take an iron pill or eat some spinach. I'd go that route.
The dingo ate my placenta!
This entry scares me a little. ~Mary

Moonspun said...

Re: the Art. Actually if you didn't know what it was from, you'd think it was cool. No, really. You'd wonder what it was and all those shapes and cracks and small lines on the paper. The thing is that when you do know and you know that's not red paint, but...well, Ok I'll stop now! :-)

Badass Geek said...

A Reason 2 Write: I know! I bet she did get a few anyways.

Nej: I don't think I'd be able to stomach that, either.

Dan: I think its a bit too early for that for me. I'll check it out later.

Bee and Rose: Me, either.

Frank and Mary: Exactly. They invented vitamins for a reason.

Moonspun: Oh, I'm sure its interesting. I'm just not sure I'd be able to retain my lunch after I found out what it was made out of.

GeekByMarriage said...

How did I miss this post?!

All I have to say is...

God Damn Hippies!

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