Thursday, July 2, 2009

In Which I Am Forced To Be Polite

I was asked to travel into the corporate office this week and help train a couple of new hires. Well, I shouldn't say I was asked. My presence was more or less demanded, but in the form of a question. And since my balls shrivel up each time the corporate office even glances in my direction, I agreed.

I've been working from home for the past two years, away from interactions with the general public and from the watchful eye of my superiors. While I've maintained a good standing within the company, having the freedom of working from home has allowed me to develop a couple of bad habits. Here is just a partial list of things I have to keep in mind while spending the next two days at the corporate office:
  • SHOWER before leaving.
  • Put on pants.
  • Keep the burping and farting to a minimum.
  • Refrain from scratching/adjusting the crotchular region.
  • REMEMBER TO APPLY DEODORANT.
I'm off to the office now.

Wish me luck.

19 Comments:

Moonspun said...

Well if your balls have shriveled that much, how much is there to scratch? Ha!
Ironically I am working from home in the mornings now for the summer (and am as we speak) and I can't take myself seriously until I shower and dress as if I am going to work, even if it's to the desk in the corner.
Don't hurt any trainees! :-)

Cape Cod Gal said...

Could you please talk with the guys at my office? I'm in the corporate world and for some reason, burping, farting and ball scratching are still on the menu here. Ewww!

Inna said...

Good luck!
Oh, and don't forget a shirt either. :)

Employee No. 3699 said...

Now just remember to play nice with the other kids.

headbitingprincess said...

HEYYY Dont forget to stay OFF the porn sites while in the office ..

Miss Grace said...

Good luck! Knock em dead!

mrssoup said...

Oh dear, good luck!!

And don't forget to brush the hair too! Or at least run your fingers through it.

GeekByMarriage said...

Hey, I'm proud of you! You're actually remembering to wear pants!

Aunt Juicebox said...

I should copy this list and give it to my mom, only replace "pants" with "bra".

areason2write said...

don't forget to look for spinach in your teeth too

Laura said...

Good luck with that. I have never had a "corporate" type job... I can't imagine...

Lana said...

i usually have a hard time with remembering when calling co-workers names, to try to say them only in my head or at least very quietly under my breath.

Jewels said...

Maybe also pop a tic tac or some gum. I'm just sayin.
Go get 'em, tiger!

Mrs. B said...

Good luck!

Aunt Becky said...

Dude. You lost me at "wear pants."

Lola said...

I hate when I have to go out to take a depo. Working from home leads to all kinds of bad habits, like blogging when you're supposed to be getting transcripts done.

Badass Geek said...

Moonspun: There is still enough. =)

Cape Cod Gal: Well, if it's an office full of guys, its probably just the standard.

Inna: Shirt! Got it.

Employee No 3699: Play nice? Psshaw.

Headbitingprincess: No porn? How will I ever survive?

Miss Grace: Oh believe me, I wanted to.

Mrs Soup: Finger-comb. Thanks for the reminder!

Geek By Marriage: First time this year!

Aunt Juicebox: *shudder*

A Reason 2 Write: Don't have to. I only eat spinach when I want to lift something heavy.

Laura: Well, this really isn't a corporate job, I just had to work in the main office.

Lana: I don't remember their real names, instead I remember their made-up names, which are much less polite.

Jewels: I haven't had a Tic Tac in ages.

Mrs B: Thanks!

Aunt Becky: I know. It is so hard to do.

Lola: Blogging isn't top priority?

lovelila said...

Good luck! That list was a good call. Remembering deodorant is a tough one!

Nej said...

Brushing your teeth is always good too. :-)

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