Wednesday, July 1, 2009

In Which I Learn A Few Things

When I was a kid, I was scared of the lady who worked the drive-through at the bank because her voice was robotic and metallic-sounding. I thought it was her normal voice, but as I got older I realized that the intercom system changed the sound of her voice.

When I was a kid, I assumed that the school bus that I rode every day to school had accordion-style hinges in the middle, to help it go around sharp corners more easily. I always wondered where they were hidden, because I never saw them.

When I was a kid, I thought that cordless phones weren't truly cordless, that they had really long invisible cords that attached to the base. I thought that this invisible cord was so thin that I couldn't feel it if I tried to hold onto it.

When I was a kid, I thought that construction crews painted the yellow lines on the road with paintbrushes. When the road I lived on got re-paved one summer, I was sorely disappointed to find out that the lines are spray-painted.

When I was a kid, I thought that the automatic doors at the grocery store were controlled by someone pushing and pulling different levers to make them open and close. I always saw people waving at the top of the doors whenever they wouldn't open, and then finally they would.


What things did you learn as you got older that disproved your thoughts as a child?


Moonspun said...

Oh my god! I love the second one, the accordion in the bus! That's fantastic and a great image to think about.
When I was young I thought the world was a big and scary place..and lo and behold, it kind of is!

Nej said...

When I was a kid, there was a hillside near my house. When it would rain, water would rush down the muddy sides.

Coors Light commercials on TV talked about beer and the mountains.

Since the water at the bottom of that muddy hill was brown...I always assumed that's where beer came from. :-)

for the love of pictures said...

Haha, I love the cordless phone one :)

When I was a kid I used to believe that you would go blind if a dandelion puff got in your eye. My mom used to tell me this so that I would stop kicking the dandelion pollen loose and activating my dad's allergies. She completely denies ever saying this to me now :)

Inna said...

I used to think that there was a buggy man out to get me every time I had to take out the trash. I used to do everything so fast I would get back in the house huffing and puffing. My mom never questioned anything, cause the trash had been taken out.

Children of the Nineties said...

I like the accordion bus one. It's interesting the ways kids' minds work. I used to think you got pregnant from getting married (as in the ceremony). I remember being terribly confused as to why my kindergarten teacher had gotten hitched over the weekend and was not yet bursting at the seams.

Cant Hardly Wait said...

I thought the People's Court was in my hometown, Bum Fuck New York.

GeekByMarriage said...

I can't top those, so why try?
As always I'm left laughing.

With you not at you. Yeah.

mrssoup said...

I use to think that shows on the television were always live. Including commercials. I was very confused when commercials would accidentally repeat. And when the same commercial would come on in the morning and at night.

And I thought the same thing about the lines on the road!

Employee No. 3699 said...

Childhood was a looooong time ago for me. I guess the big one that was disproved was "Happily Ever After".

Kat said...

When I was a kid I was completely afraid of the dumpsters at our apartment complex. I thought that bums lived behind them. Now I am terrified of taking out the trash at night not because of bums but because of raccoons or possums.

Kat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Boss said...

When I was a kid, I was convinced that the Troll from "The Neverending Story" lived underneath my bed. And in the middle of the night if I had to get up to go pee, I wold shimmy down to the bottom of the bed and fling myself toward the door.

Good times.

Aunt Becky said...

Jeez, dude, I was a DUMB kid. You know I was.

Okay, when I was a kid, I was convinced I was Smurfette. BEAT THAT, BAG!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

heheh! Did you know that in India, they do ACTUALLY hand paint the white and yellow lines on the road?!

BeautifulWreck said...

When I was a kid I believed that stuffed animals came to life and did all kinds of mischief around the house.

Maggie May said...

i'm stumped, now that you asked, i can't think of any.

Laura said...

I love the bus one! And what do you mean there aren't people controlling the doors with levers?! You just rocked my world...

Bee and Rose said...

You are a fascinating creature, Badass Geek!

I used to think that my dad was changing the traffic lights because everytime he yelled "green!" they would change! (I now pull this mind blower on my kiddos!)

Cape Cod Gal said...

I was convinced that the escalator at the mall would eat my feet if I didn't get off on time.

LiLu said...

When someone sneezed, I said "Gahbleshyoo" until I was, like, NINE.

My parents probably thought it was funny...

Reinvent Dad said...

When I was a kid, I believed that IF you peed in a swimming pool your urine would turn colors and everyone would know that it was you who peed.

Of course, you'd then be kicked out!

Chris Mancini said...

I THINK there are no monsters in my closet. And yet even as an adult, if the closet door is ever left ajar, I quickly shut it.

GeekByMarriage said...

Oh I just remembered!

I thought that my mom had all three of us kids in her tummy at the same time. The doctors just unscrewed her tummy and chose who got to come out when. I was mad at mom for not letting me be first.

Doesn't help that one of my brothers was adopted lmao.

What?! I was 3!

joyiseverywhere said...

When I was a kid, I thought the term "petting" meant, literally, just that. I pictured two people petting each other like dogs and wondered what the big deal was.

Badass Geek said...

Moonspun: You are very right.

Nej: Makes sense to me!

FTLOP: If that was true, I would have been blind at a very early age.

Inna: Sounds creepy to me!

COTN: If that was the case, wedding chapels in Vegas would have to start offering some new services.

Can't Hardly Wait: Me, too!

Geek By Marriage: Of course.

Mrs Soup: I was confused by that, too.

Employee No 3699: Yeah, we all learn that sooner or later.

Kat: I don't like taking the trash out to the dumpsters either. I had a bad experience with racoons.

The Boss: CREEPY.

Aunt Becky: You? Smurfette? Hot.

Roshni: I didn't know that. Interesting!

Beautiful Wreck: I thought that too, once.

Maggie May: Well, at least it got you thinking.

Laura: It makes sense, right?

Bee and Rose: I always wondered how my dad would know when they'd change. It took me a while to figure it out.

Cape Cod Gal: I still think that.

LiLu: I think that should be the new fad. Saying "Gobbleshoe" when people sneeze.

Reinvent Dad: I would have been kicked out of many a pool, then, as a kid.

Chris Mancini: Me, too.

Geek by Marriage: That would be an interesting way to give birth.

Joy Is Everywhere: I can see that.

Lola said...

I was a child prodigy and knew everything ;)

Notes From the Grove said...

I should write a post about all my misconceptions about sex when I was little. It was a very hot topic on the 4th grade playground. Lets just say that the things we thought people did during sex could probably get you arrested.

lovelila said...

I still like to imagine that the street lines are painted on with a paintbrush!

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