Saturday, October 31, 2009

In Which It's Halloween

Happy Halloween, folks.

I wish I had a good story to share with you about today, but I used the only story I had to tell last year. If you don't feel like clicking through to read last year's Halloween post, just know that instead of spending the evening of October 31st decked out in a costume and collecting candy from strangers, my parents took my sisters and I roller skating.

Yeah. It was as much fun as it sounds, especially for someone who already has enough problems with basic coordination and balance when his feet aren't strapped to a set of small plastic wheels. My friends would come to school the next day with their bags of candy, and I would come to school with bruises on my knees and rug burns on my hands (because, for some reason, someone had the bright idea to put fucking carpet on the walls. For wall-huggers like myself, this meant rug burns every time I'd slam into the wall with my hands out to shield myself).

But I digress.

I came across an interesting Halloween-themed advertisement the other day and I thought I'd share it with you. Have a look:

Oh, goody. With just a few clicks, I can turn a photo of myself into something Halloween-ish. Lest I be disappointed by the results, their helpful disclaimer states that, unless I just so happen to have the perfect facial bone structure to make a killer likeness of Frankenstein, or a beard that'd make me a dead-ringer for Wolfman, my creepy caricature probably won't be as good as the one pictured. How kind of them to warn me beforehand. No one likes to be disappointed on Halloween.

I also find it strange that they decided that they could use the word Halloween as a verb, like those "Cartoon Yourself" ads I wrote about a few months back. It sort of makes me wonder what other words one could use as a verb instead of a noun.
"Man, my legs are tired. I think I'll go chair myself."
"I'm really thirsty. I'm going to go beverage myself."
I don't know about you, but I don't think it has quite the same effect. I also think I'm still a little stoned from yesterday. Maybe it's all just wishful thinking.

Regardless of your plans, I hope you all have an enjoyable and safe Halloween.


Aunt Juicebox said...

My bowels are full. I think I'll go shit myself.

Jenn(ifer) said...

Your twitter updates absolutely cracked me up yesterday. I'm looking forward to feeling like christmas sometime soon myself.

Happy creepy mask day!

Moonspun said...

I am sure that English teachers everywhere are cringing at the horror!
And I am LMAO at Aunt J's comment...
I'll be galavanting around town with my lil jellyfish later...I sure hope she scores on the reese's peanut butter cups..I like them frozen!

Miss Mariposa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss Mariposa said...

"I also find it strange that they decided that they decided" I swear i had to read it over and over again. It boggled my mind for a min. lol.

I might get some sexual healing for H-day. just like every holiday!... jk... HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Christina said...

Ha! I can't rollerskate either, would have hated that kind of event, too. And no candy?! What a ripoff.

I do like the idea of Frankensteining yourself - but I'm sure push button technology is not necessary a great solution. You've got to put more effort into it - then you can make a creep out of virtually anybody, wouldn't you agree?

Happy Halloween!

Melanie's Randomness said...

aww. I can't ice skate to save my life too. I enjoyed the story. Haha the cartoon thing is kinda cool!! Happy Halloween!!! =)

Christina said...

On another note: I want an icon for my blog, too! Y'know - the tiny one that replaces the orange B.

Can you recommend any tutorials? It's been years since I've done them and can't remember now.

Also, do you put it in your css sheet? I may have to take a look at your code. I'm sure you don't mind, right?

Aw, Jeez and then there's the hosting issue... I currently don't have any webspace.

Any pointers? Maybe? Please?

Tammy Howard said...

I'd like to write a longer comment, but I have to go Krogering...

Beth said...

I'm really tired. I think I'll go bed myself.

Aunt Becky said...

Aunt Becky: "How are you feeling, Badass?"

BAG: "I feel like it's CHRISTMAS!"

Aunt Becky: "Is it snowing?"

BAG: "I think so!"

Dude. If only we all could be so high.

Happy Halloween. Thank GOD no one is on roller skates.

Samsmama said...

If you're hungry, does that mean you'd go eat yourself? Because that's just not right.

Badass Geek said...

Aunt Juicebox: Good one.

Jenn(ifer): Did you feel like Christmas yesterday?

Moonspun: Mmm... Me, too!

Miss Mariposa: Thanks for pointing that out.

Christina: I would have to agree, yes.

Melanie: Thanks, you too!

Tammy Howard: Nice.

Beth: That works pretty well.

Aunt Becky: Oh, it was GLORIOUS.

Sams Mama: No, it's not.

LiLu said...

Dude. I do something similar, except it involves the Andy Bernard term "Beer Me" for everything. See below...

"Hey, beer me some coffee, wouldya?"

"Beer me a kitty in my lap!"

"Baby, can you beer me some toilet paper?!"

Laura said...

Happy Halloween! I hope you had a good evening:) We didn't do much with the munchkin being so little, so we decided to just sit home and candy ourselves. Yum!

mysterg said...

That's a very fetching shirt you're wearing. Now go fetch me a beer!

One Sassy Girl said...

Ha! Damn, I kinda want to do that now but wonder what I'd do if my pic came out looking like a dead ringer for some freakfest monster. Oh, the dilemma...

Brutalism said...

Everything is a verb's weird. A friend of mine has a friend who's an actor...he told me to look the friend up on IMDB to see his list of credits. I actually wrote back, "I IMDB'd him." (Hanging head in shame.)

Mrs. B said...

It's like that Calvin and Hobbes cartoon: "Verbing weirds language."

Mad Woman said...

I'm actually thinking of beanbagging myself....but only because you already used chair.

for the love of pictures said...

I used "beverage myself" twice today! It went over quite well :)

Nej said...

My parents always got "into" Halloween...but they always waited until THAT DAY to do it. I can remember many a year I'd come home from school, and my mom and dad would be running around the house like crazy people, building costumes for my sister and I. They were rough, and homemade...but the best costumes ever as far as I was concerned. :-)

This year we didn't do was sad really. :-) Although, I did go to a party last weekend. The theme was dead celebrities. I was Amelia Aerhart (before I heard there was a movie coming out). And, my fate would have been similar to hers, had I not had a designated driver along with me. I remember small bits and pieces of the last 3 or so hours of the party...but that's about it. :-)

Lola said...

Why were you floating?

Jaime said...

"I'm going to go beverage myself."

I am going to say this for all eternity now.

Amy said...

OMG!! I am cracking up over this post! Hiliarious that your parents took you roller skating badass!!

And the whole, "I think I'll go chair myself." Hilarious!

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