Friday, October 9, 2009

In Which I've Got No Other Choice

I returned to work today. Having been out of it for the past month, jumping right back into it is really giving the ol' brain a workout. You'd think that after three years I wouldn't have any trouble remembering how to do my job, but you'd be wrong. I feel like a rookie all over again.

My brain has been working so hard today that it's set off the smoke alarms a few times. Not wanting to leave my blog empty for a few days, I've got no other choice but to recycle an old post. It's one that is sure to throw your stomach for a bit of a loop, so if you're queasy or sensitive like that, read this post instead.

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I was browsing the Best-Of section of Craigslist the other day when I came across something that made me throw up a little in my mouth. I should have been prepared for the worst when I read the title of the entry, especially considering the site that hosted this little gem. It was horribly disgusting and it took away my appetite, but I just have to share it with you all. Those with weak stomachs should click away now.

The entry (click here for the link) was titled "I Need Someone To Dry My Placenta".

Enjoy.


Okay, yeah. Even after reading through this a couple of times, it still kind of turns my stomach. As gross as the idea of that is, if some formerly-pregnant chick wants to eat her own afterbirth, who am I to say no? I won't stand in the way of one's ambitions, even if it sounds absolutely nauseating. To each his or her own.

She is correct when she said that a lot of animals tend to eat the placenta after giving birth. The Boss grew up on a goat farm, and she's told me stories about how the mother goats would chow down on their placenta like it was a free buffet. Sure, its natural for animals, but for humans? If you're looking to take something that benefits your health, take a fucking multivitamin.

I just can't imagine someone actually doing that. I mean, seriously. Giving birth isn't like going to a restaurant. It'd be awfully weird I'd think for the OB doctors, wiping sweat from their brow after working hard to safely deliver this woman's baby, to see this woman point to the bowl containing the gory carnage that is afterbirth and be all like, "Can I get that to go?"

I can't help but wonder if she actually got a response.

20 Comments:

mysterg said...

Stunning!

I have something for you over at my blog.

Little Ms Blogger said...

I wonder how many points Weight Watchers would assign to placenta?

Jane Lively said...

Hang in there at the office today! And, wow, wouldn't you love to know the follow-up story to that ad?

Organic Meatbag said...

I wonder if there are also such services for foreskin?

Coach J said...

I actually just read an article in Time about eating placentas. I saw that damn thing delivered, and nothankyou.

As far as the getting the brain to work thing, I experience the same sensation at the beginning of each new school year. It's like I forgot how to freaking function.

Sandy said...

I was laughing so hard at this that Paul came in to see what I was doing. Too funny or too stupid, I'm not sure which.

minivan soapbox said...

Damn! Now why didn't I think of that? All that time I spent eating yogurt and fiber bars...I could have just eaten the placenta!

Melanie's Randomness said...

Omg That...I...Woa. I have never ever heard of this before and i'll admit I'm a lil sick to my stomach right now cuz I have just eaten lunch. I laughed so hard tho at your "Can I get that to go". Yeeeshh!!!

Good luck returning to the job!!

Aunt Becky said...

You totes know that she did.

Rebecca Knight said...

Now this has me wondering if there are people who eat placentas and eat them all the time O_o. You know. Cause it's so healthy.

I have this horrifying mental image of a bunch of zombie cannibals rummaging through the bins outside the hospital.

Thanks for the nightmares, Badass Geek! :)

dsmcaron said...

Sounds like something on the Avoid This Job website.

Mwa said...

I asked if I could donate mine for research. But eat it? Nah. I do know a lot of people keep them to plant trees on top. For some obscure reason.

mumma boo said...

Boy am I glad I didn't read this until AFTER dinner. ;)

Life with Kaishon said...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. My favorite line in this post is the one In which you say 'yada, yada, yada... take a multi vitamin : )" That is SO funny! Really great!

Tammy Howard said...

Please - no stupid e-mails.

Okey dokey, then.

Back in the 70's there was a rejected SNL skit about a Hamburger Helper type product called Placenta Helper. It was deemed not ready for not ready for prime time.

Nyx said...

This is Nyx's dog. She's too busy retching and gagging to comment right now.

However, as a canine, I would like to inform all you silly humans that placenta is quite tasty. Being a male dog, I have no idea what I'm talking about, but my fellow female canines have informed me that it is quite delicious. Just sprinkle a little salt on it, shout BAM a few times for emphasis, and serve. Placenta tartar.

Jaime said...

That's ridiculous.

daria said...

I _thought_ the placenta bit sounded familiar!

Night Owl Mama said...

I saw that on tv not to long ago its absolutely DISGUSTING> And she's a nutball for posting that

Glamour Girl said...

For the love of all that is good, pure and true in the universe.

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