The Boss is going on vacation next week.
I'm driving her to the airport early in the morning on Monday for a flight out to Arizona, where she'll be spending the week reconnecting with her best friend. This vacation has been in the works for quite a while, and she is very excited about going. Having lived in either Maine, Massachusetts, or New Hampshire her entire life, this will be the furthest away from home she's ever traveled. This will also be her first time flying, and with all the things she has planned out on her itinerary, I know she's going to have a blast.
Me, though? I'll be staying home with the house to myself for the week, and working a shitload of overtime.
Since The Boss is going to be away having fun, I've tried to think of things that I want to do while I have all of this time to myself. I don't often do things just for me, and what better time to do that when the wife is away for a few days, right? There'll be no guilt, no compromise, no consideration for what the other person wants to do. Quite frankly (and I'm probably going to get in trouble for saying this), it has all the potential to be an awesome week.
I can watch all the movies that The Boss refuses to watch with me (can you say Star Wars marathon?) and have the volume set at a level that I feel is appropriate. I can eat junk food and whatever else I want, regardless if the particular item is normally meant for dinner and I'm eating it for breakfast, or vice versa. I can watch internet porn without having the sound muted or using headphones, and freely masturbate in any room of my choosing. When going to bed, I can stretch out as much as I want, not being confined to my "half" of the mattress (normally about eight inches worth). I can take a shower and not have to worry about not having enough hot water. I can finally reenact the scene from "Risky Business" in my boxer briefs. I can burp and fart with abandon and not be chastised for the smell.
For one week, the world will be my oyster.
I have all these dreams of grandeur, but I probably won't do anything too special with all of my time alone. I'll most likely wind up sitting at my desk on the computer and finally catching up on all your blogs, or in my easy chair reading a book. I'm sure I'll do a couple of the things that I mentioned just now, but for the most part it will be life as usual. Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed. Lather, rinse, and repeat. The week will pass by like it always does, and I know I'll find myself missing The Boss and counting down the time until she comes home, at least so she can help me figure out what shirt matches with my work pants. It'll be a rare day when I can manage to do that on my own.
In all seriousness, despite how much I will enjoy having some alone time, I will miss having The Boss around. She is to me what a straight-jacket is to the skitzophrenic, after all, but I know it's going to be good for us to have some time apart. For her to reconnect with her best friend, and for me to stretch my legs and spend some time on me.
Part of me thinks I should feel selfish for saying that, but other parts of me, the ones with louder voices that resonate in that deep inner part of my soul, know otherwise.
Have a good weekend, everyone.