Have you ever been driving around and notice one of those signs that contractors put up on the lawns of the houses they are working on, advertising for their business? They always have a clever little slogan and generic clip art of some poor stick figure laboring away next to bullet points of what kind of work the company does. You see them everywhere this time of year, advertising for all varieties of home improvement or repair work.
I saw one yesterday that said, in big bold block letters, "Just Roofs."
In addition to that witty business name, there were four other words: "Quality Work. Affordable Prices." There was a phone number underneath that, but other than those six total words, that was it. I imagine the business owner to be a guy who is short on words (except of the four-letter variety), short on money to spend on advertising, and short on creativity for said advertising.
Now, maybe this is just me being me, but having a business name of "Just Roofs" is a claim that is just begging to be tested.
So I called.
After a few rings, the line picks up. There's a moment of scuffling. "Just Roofs, this is Rick."
"Hi, is this Just Roofs?"
"Yeah, I saw your sign in front of a house over on Dexter Street and I was wondering... Do you do siding?"
"Nope. We just do roofs."
"Ah." I paused for a few seconds. "How about painting? Would you slap on a coat or two of paint on a house if the price was right?"
"Nope. All we do is roofs. If-"
"What about landscaping?" I asked, cutting him off. "My hedges are a mess."
"All we do is roofs. Roof repair and roof replacement. Just roofs," Rick said, sounding more than just a little bit annoyed.
"So I couldn't get you to resurface my driveway, then?"
"No. Just. Roofs."
"Okay, then. Nevermind. Bye!"
As it turns out, that is a very apt name for Rick's business.
After I hung up on him, Rick did try calling me back, probably to yell some of those four-letter words that fill out his vocabulary at me. I let it go to voicemail (he didn't leave one), and made a mental note to remember to hide my phone number the next time I prank call someone.