Monday, January 3, 2011

In Which I See an Old Baby*

Over the weekend, The Boss and I went out to see if we could get some of the things we'll need for Baby Badass with some of the gift card money we received for Christmas. Our thought was that some things would likely still be on sale, and we could hopefully snag a few deals on some of the more expensive items.

As it turns out, the sale prices were no longer to be had, so I followed The Boss around the Baby Section of Walmart for an hour while she cooed and squealed at all of the cute pink baby shit they had on the shelves. To keep my mind occupied, I set a goal for myself to find the weirdest looking baby picture used on the packaging for something.

Here's the winner:




I forget what exactly this picture was on, but I think it was one of those walker-bumper things where the kid dangles from the seat/harness just enough off the ground where only their toes touch, but really, that's besides the point. Just look at that face.

Isn't that the oldest looking baby you've ever seen? It's probably only a few months old, but I'm sure it's already getting AARP and Medicare brochures in the mail. The poor little guy is like Benjamin Button, and even has the initialed t-shirt to match.

Finding the weirdest picture out of the bunch was definitely a challenge. If I were to have chosen the weirdest looking product, though, I would have chosen one of the breast pumps for sure. Some of those things look downright dangerous, like something you'd see on a bondage porno flick.

Happy Monday, folks.

*The title of this post is probably one of the weirdest I've ever written, but what better way to start off the new year? 

19 Comments:

Ed said...

John Prine sings a song called, "The Oldest Baby In the World." Of course, what he was singing about has nothing to do with the above picture.

DENASE said...

Have you seen a baby older than you?

Corey said...

LOL! Serious I was litterally laughing out loud with this post! love it!

bama Cheryl said...

It's probably the photographer's kid or the person who commissioned the photo shoot. It's really untrue that all babies are cute, as this picture ably shows!

Coco said...

FYI, I *believe* that is the picture on the package of the Bumbo Baby Seat...which, let's face it, may be the weirdest NAME of a baby product ever...

soft nonsense said...

I imagine that baby looking the EXACT same ass that in another 40 years...weird elf ears and all.

Kelly said...

I can totally see this dorky, kind of ugly kid saying, "I used to be a baby model...really...I WAS."

Trying to get cool points with some girl or something.

JenS said...

That's creepy.

#1Nana said...

Would someone please figure out how we can have a cyber shower for baby Badass.

Just Call Me Lynn said...

"Baby Badass" *giggle*

Chuck said...

I think that kid is a "little person" trying to make a living portraying babies. He doesn't have much time left. Picture him with a cigar and a drink.

Melissa E. said...

That is definitely a bumbo seat. They are very useful. You will need one. Although I'm sure your baby will be far cuter than the one in that picture.

Marty said...

The kid is totally sitting in a bumbo, which probably doesn't helps matters.

Poor bumbobaby.....

Logical Libby said...

That is so not a baby. It's a midget running a scam. And don't buy one of those seats, you only use it for a minute.

She-She said...

His face? Darlin', look at those ears! Clearly this is a distant relative of Spock. No points yet but he's clearly still growing into them...

Didactic Pirate said...

"You've just taken your first steps into a larger world." -- Obi-Wan Kenobi

Badass Geek said...

Ed: Yeah, probably not.

Denase: No, not lately.

Corey: Thanks!

Bama Cheryl: Indeed!

Coco: Agreed!

Soft Nonsense: You're probably right.

Kelly: That would probably not go over very well.

JenS: Absolutely.

#1Nana: If you're interested, I can put up a link to where we're registered.

Just Call Me Lynn: Oh, it's going to be epic.

Chuck: I tried to Photoshop into it an old hat and a pipe, but I couldn't make it work.

Melissa E: I sure as hell hope so.

Marty: No, it really doesn't.

Logical Libby: I'm not buying it because of the packaging. I believe it to be like a Ouija board.

She-She: Good point!

Didactic Pirate: EPIC.

lessonsinlifeandlight said...

LOL! Yeah, that's a Bumbo. And in the words of my good friend, Nick...that baby has a serious case of UBS (ugly baby syndrome). I'll save you a seat in hell!

Writer Ninja said...

Holy crap…the eyes follow you…

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