Friday, June 24, 2011

In Which I Appreciate Privacy

Ten Things I Learned/Found Out About My Apartment This Week:

  1. The walls and floors are thin. If I can hear the lady downstairs making grunting sounds in the part of the house where her bathroom is, she can hear just as much of our... noises, too.
  2. The house to the right of ours is *not* vacant. I was on our deck grilling up some dinner this week and didn't realize I was staring into the windows of the house next door. At an old man eating his TV dinner. He got my attention by waving his arm, and then gestured with his hands to what I interpreted as “What the fuck, dude?” Every night after that, the curtains have been drawn.
  3. There are many houses on the block that have views into our apartment, and I give every one of them a show every morning when I walk from the bathroom at one end of the house to my bedroom at the other covered only by a towel around my waist.
  4. The motion sensor lights in all the entryways that I first thought were annoying are really very handy when you're coming in with your hands full of groceries or a car seat and can't fumble for a light switch.
  5. The toilet does not have strong flushing pressure. Enough said.
  6. The washer and dryer make very distinct noises when in use. It sounds to me a bit like an argument, (ie, “Yes,” “No,” “Yes,” “No,”) or like a very picky person saying no to everything (“Nor this, nor that, nor this, nor that,”). It's very annoying.
  7. When you are trying to walk across the room and not wake the baby, the floor is VERY LOUD.
  8. There are not an adequate amount of outlets in certain rooms. Our bedroom, for example, has one. The kitchen has six. The living room has two.
  9. The living room floor is slanted enough so, if you're sitting in a chair with wheels, you can roll from one corner to the other. We call it Apartment Luge.
  10. Having an apartment of our own after living with family for seven months is quite possibly the best thing in the world. Except for not having a dishwasher. That part sucks.
What have you found out recently about your part of the world?

Have a good weekend, everyone.


Anonymous said...

Why American men should boycott American women

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.


⚏ Arlecchino Fluorescente ⚝ said...

I can relate to this, especially the thin walls and ceilings.

Kelly said...

My dishwasher moved away to college almost a year ago. A sad, sad day for me. We may have to buy an actual dishwasher now, since my dishwasher in training is still too short to reach the sink.

Jennifer said...

Those kinds of things always make for funny stories later... I bet you might miss it all when you move out one day...

kristina said...

Woo hoo to number 3!! What's your address again? ;)

Not that recent, but it seems to be getting worse - I've noticed the harder I try to tidy and clean, the more space it makes for the man and the boy to leave stuff and create more of a mess.

I have also noticed (because we've just started having the window open all night again - it was too cold to up until last week) there is an owl, three raccoon and a couple of woodpeckers who live in the trees just outside our house...

Chuck said...

After a week in Fiji I think I have found several things I can actually do without...starting with all the shit we brought back from Fiji!!

Badass Geek said...

Anonymous: Jesus, dude. You just don't quit, do you?

Arlecchino Fluorescente: Sucks, doesn't it?

Kelly: Yeah, might be a good idea.

Jennifer: Maybe.

Kristina: Woodpeckers are annoying.

Chuck: I bet! Welcome back.

Jon said...

You're doing far better than me. Out of a hundred comments on my blog about 15 are in english and only one of those is legit.

Just Call Me Lynn said...

That I am going to be stuck here for another year so I need to make it work! I'm going to redecorate and organize my "room" and stay in it more often! LoL

Lauren Helen said...

I've learned this from sneaking through the house in the dead of the night (our floors creak very loudly), but if you walk very close to the wall, there's less noise. In fact, pressing yourself up against the wall eliminates almost all sound, because the floor next to the wall is... sturdier? I don't know why, actually, but it works!

Anonymous said...

Here is a blog written by a man named Zero Tolerance Man, and he hates American women even more than I do.

Just face it ladies, millions of American men are starting to become sick of you and reject you. Maybe if you American women didn’t act like such horrible bitches and sociopaths, men wouldn’t be rejecting and boycotting you. You whores have no one to blame but yourselves.

Post a Comment