Friday, July 29, 2011

In Which I Can't Fool Even Myself

Like a lot of people these days, I struggle with trying to lose weight. With the myriad of health problems I'm dealing with (extra pieces of brain matter notwithstanding), the main challenge I have is just having the energy to move my fat ass around to get exercise. I do what I can when I can, and thanks to a change in my diet now that I think that I'm allergic to peanuts, I started to feel lately like I may have dropped a few pounds.

My pants started to feel a little bit loose, even after coming out of the dryer after being washed when they were usually the tightest. Some of my shirts started looking baggy, but I didn't really believe that I had lost a little bit of weight until I needed to go up a notch on my belt.Well, truth be told, it felt like I needed to go up half a notch. Not wanting to punch an extra hole in my belt, I sucked in my gut and tightened things up.

For a good couple hours, everything felt fine. I felt more confident, pleased with the fact that I had finally lost some weight, even if it was a small amount. I strutted around the office like I was hot shit, and I sat down at my desk with renewed confidence. After a couple of hours, though, the tighter cinch around my waist that was so empowering earlier was now the source of some major discomfort.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom to loosen things up. All it took was bringing the belt back to its former position, the old familiar spot marked by the well-worn ridge in the leather. I sighed in dejected relief. As it turns out, leather can stretch when held under pressure for long periods of time. I hadn't really lost any weight at all. My pants and shirts were just plain old baggy, and my ratty old belt is just stretched out.

Well.... Weight loss was nice while it lasted.

Have a good weekend, everyone. 


camerabanger said...

"I started to feel lately like I may have dropped a few pounds"...
Try a "gravity actuated mass correlated gauging device" this will corroborate or contradict your 'hunch'. Available at Target in the bathroom scale department.

Badass Geek said...

Camerabanger: Clever.

Writer Ninja said...

So sorry about the false hope. Also, I have peanut allergies, so I know they are no picnic at all.

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